Happy Stoners' Day

How fitting that I received this forward from a friend yesterday. I had planned to share this anyways, but the fact that today is 4/20 makes it that much better. [Warning: Prepare to feel like you're getting called to the principal's office.]

Dear 2nd floor Resident:


Last night at 6:00pm, one of your neighbors smelled marijuana smoke in the hallway and in their apartment home. They filed a complaint with us in the Community Office and a member of the leasing office also smelled the marijuana smoke. The smoke has interfered with your neighbor’s right and ability to enjoy their apartment home. In addition, smoking marijuana violates your Apartment Lease, because you are engaging in illegal activity and emitting a noxious odor into the building.



Therefore, the purpose of this notice is to insist that whoever the offender is on this floor must immediately stop smoking marijuana.



We also want to provide some helpful information and tips to the offender, because unfortunately, we have encountered this situation before, and previous offenders have not understood what “stop smoking marijuana” means. Here are some common misconceptions with clarifications:



1. “Stop smoking marijuana” does not mean that you should continue to smoke but open up a window to be considerate of your neighbors. Because of negative pressure in the building, opening your window actually sucks air into the building and pushes the smoke under your door and further into the hall and into your neighbors’ apartments. It does not work, so please do not try it.


2. “Stop smoking marijuana” does not mean that you should start burning incense while your smoke to cover up the smell of the marijuana. Contrary to the belief of many smokers, incense does not cover up the smell of the marijuana nor do your neighbors enjoy the smell of incense in their hall or infiltrating their apartment any more than marijuana smoke.


3. “Stop smoking marijuana” does not mean that you should push a towel under your door to stop air transfer into the hall. Unfortunately, your apartment is not air tight except for the front door. Air transfers throughout the building through building ventilation, electrical outlets and cable outlets, which are typically back to back through the walls between adjoining apartments.


4. “Stop smoking marijuana” does not mean that you should stand in your tub and smoke into the vent in your bathroom. Not only do you transfer the smoke into apartments above you, ash also enters the vent and can fly out of the vents of your neighbors’ bathroom vents.

Simply put, “stop smoking marijuana” means exactly that you should stop smoking marijuana altogether in your apartment home.



Thank you for your attention to this matter. We apologize for the blunt nature of this notice. For the offender, we hope that you will heed the instructions in this notice as a sign of deference to your neighbors and your Apartment Lease. For those of you who are not responsible or effected by the smoke, we apologize for having to send this notice to you.



Please let us know if you have any questions, comments or concerns regarding the information in this notice.



Sincerely,

Building Management

My friend swears she has an air-tight alibi.