For better or worse, there are people out there like me. People that, despite their better judgement, love fashion, live for sales, and breathe in the sweet smell of bargains like a sea captain inhaling the crisp, salty, morning air. People who know that it's not the cost of an item that counts - it's the percentage of the original price you paid.

As evidence, I present to you personalshopper.com. Here are people who have designed a website dedicated to helping you find the stuff you don't even know you need yet! It's nothing short of genius. It's literally only been a few hours since I made this discovery, so I don't think I've been able to fully grasp how amazing this is. Fear not, sweet cyber shopping companion, we have all the time in the world.

This has been rolling over in my head for quite some time, but I'm feeling a little slumpy* today and thought some sarcastic blogging might cheer me up a bit.

*(slmpi) adj. used to describe one's mood when in a bit of a slump, feeling down, and/or suffering from a case of the blahs

Why 'ex-sex' is like McDonalds:

• Sometimes, you just get a craving
• You know it's not good for you, but it sure hits the spot
• You're not after it because it's amazing, you're seeking something predictable, reliable and consistent
• Although you know a high % of people do the same thing, you may be embarassed to admit to it in certain company
• Afterwards, you feel kind of gross and remember why you haven't had it in a while

Thank you to Nellie for pointing out that "the world is catching on to your shoe thing."

I've come to realize that I'm a single mother to my inner child. I have to embrace her, pull her in, give her the attention and love that she needs. I hate her because she needs love and attention, but I need to remember that she's a child and all child need that. When I bring her in and heal her I'll be able to reclaim all her good qualities - her playfulness, her sensitivity, etc.

That's all well and good, but right now she's on a time out. I'm contemplating sending her to boarding school. My therapist said I can do that, but she'll just come back. Do you think DFS can come after you if you harm your inner child?

Right, back to pretending I'm not crazy.

I'm a bit of an attention whore. I didn't get enough 'healthy attention' as a child. That's what my therapist tells me. She's a very nice, polished, Jewish woman in her 60's. I'm a recovering Catholic, but I'm very Jew-y.

My sister got married this weekend. I became accutely aware of my attention-seeking antics because a) I talk A LOT, b) I talk even more when I'm nervous, and c) the content of what I say can frequently be described as woefully inappropriate. Take, for example, when my sister's friend and bridesmaid Lisa, a mother of 2, came to my room. I asked her if my present, a gift basket swaddled in a sheer, blue, gossimer fabric, looked like a giant blue abortion. Or, consider me drinking outside the bar with my sister's friends until 2:30 am after the wedding. The sparkling white I was drinking (straight from the bottle, of course) was giving me a tremendous amount of stomach gas, so I kept belching and deflecting the blame onto other people, saying things like, "Goodness, Flavia, you're a mother. Conduct yourself with some dignity!"