David Duchovny apparently loves too much

I'm in my office, not doing work - obviously, when I read in the NYT Art's section that actor David Duchovny or X-Files fame (and let's not forget his under-appreciated cameo in Zoolander) has entered rehab for sex addiction.

And my friend starts singing this song, which I never knew existed, and I had to share it immediately.

I was a huge X-Files geek! How could I have missed this?

And it was good

There was a girl, and the girl moved into an apartment. The apartment did have a kitchen, and the kitchen, it was messy. Dirt did cover the floor and the droppings of mice did scatter on the shelves of the pantry and in the cabinets. But the apartment also had a vacuum, and the girl did use the vacuum to remove droppings and other debris. And across the street from the apartment there was a Rite-Aid, and into the store did the girl travel. And in that store she did purchase bleach and a scrub brush and other implements with which one can cleanse. And cleanse she did. The girl did dress like mid-19th c domestic servant and did tie her hair in a bandanna and did don marigolds. The girl did scrub and bleach til the dirt was gone and the droppings were no more. The kitchen did gleam and smell like a pool, and the kitchen gods were pleased.

And this apartment did also have a bathroom, but the girl hadn't gotten there yet...

my favorite color is BLUE

Are you watching the Democratic National Convention? Because it's been giving me chills and making me cry. I haven't been this excited about politics since, well... I've never been this excited about politics! It must have been so cool to be at the convention. I love Michelle. And Ted (even though he killed that girl). And Hillary. And Beau. And Joe. And Joe's mom! And, like the rest of the Democrats, I love Bill Clinton, even if he looked like he was getting a blow job when the cameras cut to him during Hil's speech. He just had a shit-eating grin on his face like, "Keep you head down, darlin', the camera's on me."

Tonight, Obama's speech.

It's always good when...

It's always good when:

• your dad helps you move into your new apartment, and when you show him the living room there's a pipe and a baggie of weed sitting in plain sight on the coffee table.
• when you first get into the new place you're greeted by several half empty beverage containers on the table, including one with a molding lemon.
• you go to clean out a shelf for your things in the pantry and notice fresh mice droppings all around.
• your bathroom floor doesn't look as though it's been cleaned since the building was built, probably sometime in the early half of the last century.
• the kitchen light "more often than not" doesn't turn on, and this seems to be of no real concern to the other roommates.
• the neighbor feels the need to share his love of Latin music, loudly, everyday, from roughly 7am - 11pm.
• you come home in the afternoon to find the door unlocked and no one home.
• most of the problems with the apartment can be solved with a 50/50 solution of bleach and water and some quality time spent with a scrub brush.
• your new roommates seem very cool, and that coolness outweighs their messiness. So far.

back in the burroughs

Well, it's official, I'm a Brooklynite. Sunday my dad and I drove 4 hrs, spent another 2 unloading the truck (I just kept thinking, "Thank god I'm not on the 5th floor!") took a break for beers and burgers at the local beer garden, then primed for 3 hrs and painted for another 2.

Monday morning I was able to move in all my furniture, set up my bed, and really start unpacking. Dad and I got bagels around the corner - they really are just so much better in NY - and then he left me with mounds of shoes, clothes and books adding a tearful "I hope you're happy here," leaving unspoken: "because I'm never moving you again!"

I got almost everything unpacked, and then Jane came over to see the place. We had dinner at a nice little outdoor cafe on the corner, and the very precocious 4-year-old sitting next to us complimented me on my necklace. She was having girls' night with her mom, and after dinner was headed home for a bath and then to watch Obama and eat ice cream. Sounds like the perfect night to me!

This morning I was up early, again (although when you go to bed at 10pm you really don't need to sleep past 7), and unpacked most of my kitchen items. The kitchen and the bathroom are a little messier than I'd like, but it's nothing a 50/50 water and bleach solution won't take care of!

I stopped by a friend's place to get the instructions on dog/cat sitting - when I accepted the gig she failed to mention she lives in a 5th floor walk-up! - and then got a $2.50 falafel at Mamoun's before heading into the office and - gasp! - doing some work.

Now I'm heading home for a nap, and then tonight it's out for drinks for a friend's birthday. Updates with pictures coming soon. Thanks for everyone's positive thoughts and well wishes during the move.

It's good to be home!

all packed up and ready to go

After some difficulties actually getting a moving truck, my stuff is packed and the truck is facing out of the driveway ready to head to Brooklyn. I'll hopefully have pictures of the new set up soon, after I paint and unpack. Ready or not, here I come!

updates

Bedding - Thanks for everyone's input! I do agree having fantastic bedding is worth the expense. I compromised on the quality of the comforter because I loved the colors and bought this one by Dwell studio for Target:

I then got a memory foam mattress topper and nice sheets which have been washed and softened and are ready to go on the bed. Anita, the woman I work for, is a designer, so she's been helping me with color palette for my new room. I can't wait to get it all set up - pictures will be posted, of course.

Watches - I ended up buying the silver DKNY, but the face was strangely large, and it was too overwhelming on my wrist (one of the 2 places on my body that aren't chubby, the other being my clavicle). I tried on the Michael Kors one in Macy's and liked it but didn't love it. I'm going to hold off for a bit.

Going batty - my parents are back, so I don't have to stay in the house that hates me by myself any longer. The timing couldn't be better because Tuesday there was an alligator in the bathtub and a band of marauding gypsies set up camp in the back yard.

this house is cursed

My parents are away for the week, and it works out well because I have the house to myself to organize for a yard sale Saturday and pack for Sunday's move. The down side is that I'm here by myself, and after the whole break-in I get a little jittery sometimes.

So Sunday my parents' cat threw up in front of my room (I think she was pissed I didn't stay here Saturday night), and yesterday she pooped in the dining room (there she was just being spiteful because she was all of 10' from her litter box). I wasn't thrilled about either incident, but last night the cat was the least of my problems. I walked up to my room, hoping to get a nice early night's sleep, and there, above the linen closet that's at right angles to my bedroom door, is a big brown square. And it has a face.

There was a friggin' BAT in my house. I screamed on the inside - not wanting to disturb it - went into my room, and began panicking. Then I began doubting myself - was it really a bat? Was I over-reacting? I took a Sephora compact mirror, opened the door a hair, and stuck it out. Nope - face on brown furry thing. Bat verrified. I started calling friends, tried a neighbor, my sister & her husband - nadda. Who do I know in my town anymore? Then I remember my friend and her husband live nearby and have just returned from their honeymoon. They suggested I call the police and said they'd come over to let them in. So I called the police (the non-emergency number), and the officer didn't sound too surprised by my call or hesitate to send someone to help. Good thing this is a sleepy town - at least I gave them something to do on a Tuesday night.

Luckily my room overlooks the driveway, cause there wasn't a chance in hell I was leaving my room until the bat was out of the house. Like a lady in her tower, I opened the window and called down to my rescuers in blue. They came in, got a piece of Tupperware from the kitchen, caught it, and let it go in the driveway. When one of the officers joked like he was going to throw it at me, I screamed, jumped up and down, and whimpered incoherently that it wasn't funny. They were disappointed it was a small bat, so I hope my reaction added to their entertainment for the evening.

And so I'm beginning to think this house is cursed. At the very least, I think the universe is telling me not to live with my parents anymore.

The good news is that there was a spider in the shower this morning, and I was able to handle that one all on my own.

wasted pastry

I pulled into a parking lot this morning and saw two long brown things on the ground in the space next to me. I thought it was dog poop and thought, "How gross!" Then I realized it was the two halves of a chocolate donut and thought, "How sad!" I was sad for that donut all day, and thinking about it now makes my heart feel a little heavy.

modern day club kids

Last Thursday was Lisa's (my roommate) birthday - happy belated birthday, Lisa! After dinner with her parents we surprised her with strawberry ice cream cake and balloons at her pad and then headed out to Rock Revolution for some dancing.

Oh. my. god. Now, I was never really a club kid, but back in the day I spent my fair share of nights on Lansdowne Street wearing ridiculous clothes and copious amounts of glitter, listening to house music, and dancing next to kids waving glow sticks. I was totally unprepared, however, to encounter this cast of characters on a Thursday night. My mind was blogging before we even got inside.

First of all, there was an over-abundance of Mohawks. What kind of day job can you hold down with that hair? Does asking that question show my age?

Then there were the girls. I couldn't figure out of Tila Tequila was looking for another shot at love or if the Pussycat Dolls were presenting their search for yet another Pussycat Doll. This girl looked like an avatar (and I use that description primarily because it was a key aspect of the plot in CSI: New York last Wednesday night):

I felt positively prudish that my vagina wasn't showing. The guys weren't much better. It was hard to tell where the graphic tee's ended and the bicep wrapping tribal tattoos began.

Finally, we had this poor girl who just looked like she'd been caught in a tuna net:

I can't even comment on her tattoo. Fortunately yesterday I saw that Filene's Basement sells Ed Hardy tee-shirts, which many, many people were sporting, so I'm going to pick up some for the next time I hit the clubs. Who's got my glow sticks?

bedding

A new apartment, a new room, a new opportunity to shop for bedding (I got rid of all my old bedding when I left New York the last time). I love shopping for bedding almost as much as I love shopping for shoes. Although the pressure is more intense - imagine shopping for a pair of shoes you would have to wear everyday! Then again, my bedding won't leave the house. I'm going to paint over the hot mess with a neutral cream color, and I'm definitely leaning towards blues/browns for the color scheme. I like the white comforter, but considering I spent a fair amount of time reading on my bed with pens, highlighters, and cups of tea it just might be too impractical.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions?

Blog request: Ugly baby clothes

The blog thought well has been running a little dry lately, so Sunday at my sister's house I asked is she and my brother-in-law had anything they were holding their breath to hear me comment on. My sister said, "How about ugly baby clothes?" and produced this:






Apparently it was a gift from grandma Steph forgot to burn, which begs the question:


Why does my mother want her grand-daughter to look like she's a member of that polygamist group from Texas?

New Apartment!

It's official, I will not be homeless when I move back to New York. As of the last week in August I will be at:

364 Union St, Apt #3

Brooklyn, NY 11231

There are 2 other roommates, one of whom is the friend of a friend, which is how I found the place. It's a 3rd floor walk up in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, right near the F train (which conveniently drops me off in from of my department), and the neighborhood is super cute with restaurants, cafes, dogs, boutiques, etc. I'll miss Manhattan (it's not that I'm a Manhattan snob, it's that I'm lazy) but am excited for the new adventure! I think Brooklyn and I are going to get along famously. I was positively giddy being back in NYC.


Now the matter of moving - I've got to figure that one out. I need to buy a bed and sell my car, not necessarily in that order. I also need to purchase a few gallons of paint. I don't seem to have much luck with finding well decorated places. There was the cloud-scape ceiling in Solana Beach, the wallpapered bathroom in Cardiff (seriously, even the ceiling was wallpapered!), and now there's this:

Seriously? It's like the last blip of life on a heart monitor. Who thought that looked good and took the time to do it? Terrible. It even goes across the doors, windows, pipe. That's going to need at least two coats of primer. Luckily, Peter owes me a from when we redid his place.

faghagalicious

I whisked into New York City for 24 hrs this weekend to secure an apartment for my imminent return (success! more on that shortly) and got to spend time with my gay boyfriend (he prefers the term "sexless lover"). We went and got our nails done, had brunch in the village, I shopped for bedding online while he went to the gym, and then his friends came over to start the night with some beverages.

While I've been away Peter (on my left) has made some terrific new guy friends. Last night I got to meet the "sorority sisters," as they like to call themselves.

I've decided that hanging out with the gays might be the thing to do when I get back to NY. I'm surrounded by man candy all night without the possibility of rejection. What's he got that I don't? Simple, a penis. It's like shopping in Bergdorf Goodman. The goods are so not an option that I don't feel like I'm missing out and am happy to just look, not touch.