just to clarify

Subject: Thought Of You‏

From: Friend (friend@gmail.com)

Sent:Thu 1/29/09 3:43 PM

To: Me (me@hotmail.com)

http://www.lochers.com/accessories11.html

Because it made me laugh - not because I think you're a whore!

blog plagiarism

Well, it's not really plagiarism because I'm appropriately citing the original idea to Beth over at Shenanigans, my ultimate blog muse.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? I'm torn between invisibility and the ability to freeze time, like Evie on "Out of this World."

What is your favorite weather, and why? Mild spring or fall days where the sun is shining, so I can wear jeans a flip-flops and don't need a jacket/sweater.

What time do you usually get up? 8-8:30.

What is your most challenging goal right now? Immediate: Writing my dissertation. Long term/life goal: finding the elusive happy medium.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Beth is a real inspiration to me. She's an amazing writer, she has worked so hard to carve out a career as a free-lancer. She inspired me to blog in the first place, she's uber supportive of my own writing, academic and otherwise. She just never ceases to surprise me in awesome and unexpected ways.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Toughy, but I've got to go with New York City.

Favourite vacation spot? Somewhere tropical, warm, sunny, relaxing, with a pool, fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them, and no cell phone or internet access. And I'm going to one such location in 28 days!

What is your favourite children’s book? For babies, Pat the Bunny. For slightly older kids, The Phantom Tollbooth.

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Boys.

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Again, toughy. Dead: Niki de Saint-Phalle. Alive: Hillary Clinton

What are you wearing now? black Nike sweatpants, Providence College sweatshirt, glasses. se-xy.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? I actually don't like reading books more than once, but the few I have are: The Chronicles of Narnia, I Know this Much is True

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? When You are Engulfed in Flames, David Sedaris.

Do you nap a lot? Trying to cut back.

Who was the last person you hugged? Jane, a.k.a. my cookie

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? hmm, there's the new season of Rock of Love Bus, American Idol is heating up, and I'm currently obsessed with chocolate yogurt, either from Trader Joe's or Stoneyfield

What was the last thing you ate today? oatmeal made with skim milk, dried apples, cinnamon, and ground flax seed; hazelnut Dunkin Donuts coffee with skim milk and Splenda

What was the last thing you said aloud? can't remember

What websites do you always visit when you go online? Hotmail, NYU home, Facebook

What was the last thing you bought? Starbucks - tall skinny vanilla latte, tall soy chai latte, chocolate covered graham crackers (which Jane wanted to split but I thought were gross)

What are you listening to right now? the sounds of cars and trucks driving by on the wet slush, supers shoveling the sidewalks (not mine!); on my iPod, Kate Nash Made of Bricks

What movie are you most excited to show your kids? The Brave Little Toaster, Adventures in Babysitting

What were you like when you were five? I don't remember, probably transitioning from shy to precocious, chasing Andrew Rosin around day care trying to kiss him (I was clearly destined to be a fag hag)

What word or phrase do you hate? "ain't"; "I didn't know"; "Nobody told me"; any phrase in which a word is used incorrectly; double negatives

If you had £1,000 (or $, €) what would you spend it on? paying down debt

are ta-ta's N.A.F.F.?

I blog about Facebook, I blog about boobies, and then what do I see on
CNN this morning? A story about boobies on Facebook. I SO have my finger on the pulse of society.

More specifically, the piece was about a breast-feeding group on Facebook that is upset about their pictures being censored. A photo of a bare breast violates the site's terms of use. The women argue breast-feeding is natural and beautiful, and they should be able to show it. Positioning, for example, might be helpful to a woman who has access to the internet but not groups of other mothers.

Having no children and, hence, never having breastfed perhaps I don't have the most informed opinion, but I'm going to have to go with Facebook on this one. They issued a statement saying they're all for breast-feeding, they agree it's both natural and beautiful, they just don't allow naked breasts on their site. I agree that women should connect over these issues. I also believe women have the right to breast feed in public, and applaud companies and businesses that make this more feasible (I've always noticed that Nordstroms has a nice "nursing area" in the ladies' room). But there is a difference between nursing your child with a blanket draped over your shoulder and whipping your mammaries out in public. Why are we so all or nothing in this society? It's all about finding a happy medium, even with nursing.

And as for the pictures on Facebook, I get nervous about putting snapshots of my niece online. I certainly don't think photos of her latching on my sister's bajongas need to be in cyber space.

(Note: K's weened - she's 1 1/2 - just an example.)

be good to your ta-ta's

The semester started Tuesday so I'm trying to get back into a normal routine. Wednesday I went back to the gym. There are multiple motivations for this. First of all, there's the stair climb in less than 3 weeks. Then there's a possible trip to Cancun coming up (more on that later). Finally, there's been a slow but steady porking up during the last few years. Gotta nip that in the bud.

I was on the stairmaster and saw this girl approaching one of the treadmills. I knew this was going to be bad news. She was a busty lady, and she was wearing an athletic top, the type you wear for yoga, maybe aerobics, but they're really not meant for high impact activity, and definitely not if you're anything over a B cup.

My last hope was that she was going to walk at a steep incline, but girl got her run on.

It was not pretty. It looked like somebody swinging 3lb sacks of flour.

So ladies, be good to your boobies. Exercise is good, but you need the right protection. Bound those babies up!

a week's work

In case it hasn't been totally obvious, I've been rockin' the suburbs, touring Assisted Living facilities, and staying part-time in the "care giver's suite" (a.k.a. my dad and uncle's childhood bedroom) at my grandparents' house. We're in what my dad has termed "fire drill mode" trying to get them set up safely.

The last two weeks I've given myself a crash course in elder services. (Not for nothing, but I feel like this merits an honorary master's in geriatric care, no? Anyone want to find me a university to confer this title upon me?)

As evidence of my efforts, and showing that I can use my neuroses for good instead of evil, I present to you the File of Infinite Knowledge and Wisdom (organizing makes me happy):

The front has sections with general info on nursing homes, assisted living, insurance, veteran's benefits and Alzheimer's. The back has the brochures on the individual facilities we've seen. I think I may have missed my calling as a geriatric case manager. Apparently, they do what I've been doing, but they get paid for it, and they make bank. I'm only charging my grandparents a 5% broker's fee when they move. It's never too late for a career change...

Higher Standards in 2009

I always tell girl friends that guys only treat you as well as you demand to be treated. If a guy is a jerk, that's on him. But if he continues to be a jerk, and you continue to stand for it, that's on you. You've given him no reason to treat you any differently. If I could do no work and still get paid, why would I change? What would my incentive be? It's the same with guys.

I need to start taking my own advice.

A couple of my other single ladies (cue Beyonce song) and I have adopted "Higher standards in 2009" as our motto.

2008 was not a good year for guys. There was the great break-up of March, followed by some first name only friends: Steve, the high school English teacher/wrestling coach (and his tall, blond friend, the border patrol agent); Francisco the Guatemalan bongo player. This summer I had not 1 but 2 Republicans (I know!). One was fiscally conservative, that I could handle, but the other turned out to actually be a non-voting Libertarian. That I couldn't handle. You don't vote? Seriously?

There was the white-water rafting guide who drove a limo in the off-season and the former crush (he worked in the snack shack where I used to life guard). Then there was the whole on-line dating thing. 1-2-3-done. (I'm restarting the counter, btw.)

The year didn't end/begin well, either. I flirted with some guy with a face like a camel for about an hour before his friend mentioned something about his wife and baby. Funny, camel-face failed to mention those aspects of his life when he was putting his wedding-ring-less arm around my waist.

So here we are now. Higher Standards in 2009!

(We fully accept the possibility that in a few years we'll be chanting "Lower Standards in 2012" or "Willing to Compromise in 2014".)

N.A.F.F.

I'm coining a new term: N.A.F.F. = Not Appropriate For Facebook.

Here's what prompted it. My ex once forwarded me an e-mail, and when I scrolled down the page there was a sonogram picture. I wondered, "Whose fetus am I looking at?!?" You should get some type of warning before you open an e-mail like that. This year I saw the picture of someone's unborn child on their Christmas card. I'm skeptical about uterine pictures in general, but that's your prerogative. So if you want your womb on Facebook, that's your call. Rock on with your sprouting spud.

A line must be drawn, however, and I drawn that line at pictures of the process. There is a picture of a former high school classmate (one of those Facebook "friends" you're not really friends with, never really were, but feel more awkward not friending than just accepting the friend request) in the hospital with her FOB (fresh out the belly) baby on her lap. That, in and of itself, is okay. The problem is that her legs are still akimbo. You can't actually see her lady bits, but there's blood on her thigh, and I'm pretty sure the umbilical cord is still attached.

Wicked N.A.F.F.

Helen's humor

Grammy's been having a tough time lately. An infection landed her in the hospital; after 4 days she was discharged only to return to the ER less than 3 hrs later. She didn't have the strength to go home and was transfered to a short term rehabilitation center/nursing home. Fortunately, she's managed to keep her sense of humor.

When she was admitted to the hospital the nurse was doing a strength test. The nurse put her arms up and told Grammy 'push, hard, like you're going to punch me.' Grammy's reply? "Don't temp me!"

The admitting doctor came in to do a mental status evaluation. She asked basic questions to make sure Grammy was oriented.
Dr: Do you know what day it is?
G: The 21? About that?
Dr: Yes, that's right, almost Christmas.
G: Ooh, did you send your letter to Santa?

Me: Grammy you told me this summer, on your 95th birthday, that if you can't laugh you should dig a hole and crawl in it.
G: I said that?
Me: Yes, you told me that.
G: Your grandfather must have been slipping me some of the Polish vodka

Starting the New Year

Happy New Year!

Somehow some friends talked me into the Race up Boston Place (alcohol may have been involved), so one of the first major events of my 2009 will involve "running" up 81 flights of stairs. Yeah, I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

I've committed to the event, sponsored by the American Lung Association. I have a minimum fundraising responsibility of $65, and our team - the "Hotsteppas" - has a goal of $500, so I am hoping to personally raise at least $100. If you'd like to donate, here's the link for our team. (I know times are tough, especially after the holidays, but every little bit really does help. Donating $5 means giving up just one beer, or Starbucks, or store-bought instead of home made sandwich, half a movie ticket, etc.)

I suppose this means I should stop taking the elevator at work...