Sister, Sister

My sister and I usually e-mail back and forth during the week. We always ask each other's weekend plans. I told her I was going to Foxwoods to see So You Think You Can Dance Live with two girlfriends, and on Sunday we were getting massages at the spa.

She replied:

I had a massage last yr at Mohegan & it was fabulous. I was thinking
about planning to go there for my birthday this year but decided I’d run a half
marathon instead.

How are we related?!?

I wrote back, asking her this in all seriousness, and posited the two following hypothetical to characterize the difference between us.

stephanie: "I was going to do something relaxing and slightly indulgent for myself but decided to do a decathalon instead, but not before I'd filled the freezer with homemade, nutrient-packed meals for my children that I made using organic, locally grown vegetables."

amy: "I was going to do something relaxing and slightly indulgent for myself, but I was too lazy to make the appointment, so I just picked up a pint of Ben & Jerry's at the bodega on the way home and ate the whole thing while watching 'Criminal Minds' re-runs on the couch with the cat."

To which she replied:

stephanie: "I was going to do something de-stressing for myself but decided I’d be so re-stressed immediately following that it was useless so I decided instead to do an event where random strangers would cheer for me and tell me I was doing a good job even if I collapsed on the ground and where I could pee w/o anyone watching and get a medal and have a beer after, but not before I'd filled the freezer with homemade, nutrient-packed meals that I made using organic, locally grown vegetables that my children wouldn’t touch so I said f*ck this and left them uuber-processed chicken nuggets and mac & cheese."

Maybe we are related.