sponge bob douche pants

Remember the philosopher? My roommate insists on calling him "spongey" after the microwave incident, and that nickname has morphed into Sponge Bob Douche pants. And not because he lives in a pineapple under the sea. Let me explain.

We met on the Saturday, he called on the Monday, and we had our first date on the Wednesday. To be totally honest, I thought it was going to be a train wreck. Instead, it was great. We talked non-stop, no awkward silences. Since then we've hung out a few times, including sober dates. Last Tuesday we were supposed to go see a taping of the Daily Show. Unfortunately we got cut - we were the last people to not make it in. The good news is we got bumped to a VIP list for another date. I joked that if he didn't want to see me again he could find a better date with the VIP seats. At least I thought I was joking.

We had some drinks, had some dinner, and came back to my place and hung out. He left around 11PM. I was disappointed, and he saw that, but assured me that he'd be "all mine" at the weekend. He also asked when I was going to make him dinner. And then....

...Nothing. I don't hear a word. All week.

Sunday - 3 in the afternoon - I get a text:

SBDP: How's life?

I respond 1.5 hrs later (I went for a run, then needed to shower, etc. I didn't want to text when I didn't have time to talk, because, you know, like a jackass I thought we might have a conversation.)

Me: Hello there. Good. What've you been up to?
SBDP: Getting caught in family/work crossfire, forgetting mother's day, etc. Now being happy that subway's screwy so I have an excuse not to leave my apartment. You? Finished w your other class?
Me: Sounds like fun. Finished class just need to finish grading. Not much else. Baking. Subbed mashed avocado for oil & it seems to have worked.
SBDP: Yum

That's it. That's all I get, so after about 30 min I decided to throw out some bait and see if he nibbled.

Me: So do we get to make bread or hummus or something any time soon or are you still holding out for a better Daily Show date?
SBDP: Yes, let's make bread! That sounds like fun. Gave to be during the week - important pub trivia tonight
Me: Well let me know when you can squeeze me in
SBDP: Tuesday
Me: sounds good. Good luck tonight
SBDP: Thanks

Okay, so let's recap. You didn't text me for 5 days, and then I got a "how's life?" That's the best you could do? Really? And when you finally decided to text me, you did it on a day you knew you couldn't hang out. Then I had to ask you if you wanted to do something. Awesome. I love scheduling my life around guys who can't be bothered to make time for me.

I know I sound psycho, and I hate it. If I overheard my own conversation, I'd make fun of me relentlessly. I hate that I finally start to have feelings for someone, and he pulls a total dick move. I've read He's Just Not that into You. I've seen the movie. I get it, and my self-esteem isn't so crippled that I'm going to throw myself at someone just because he's got a master's and can bake.

So we're hanging out tomorrow. We're making the stupid fucking bread. I know I have to leave my attitude at the door or it's not worth it, so this is me getting my bitch on and getting it all out.

Oh, and don't worry, there are other dudes in my boy-toy box. Updates on the horizon.