Uggly

I do not like Uggs. They look very cozy and comfy, but they're just not for me. They look moderately reasonable on people with jeans and a big wooly sweater, but capri leggings and a denim mini-skirt, as they're frequently paired with out here on the West coast, just highlight their retardedness. I am on the hunt for a new cell phone (apparently my only two criteria - a) not sucking and b) costing less than $150 - are mutually exclusive), and there were so many tweens prancing around the Verizon store the other day texting their BFFs that I couldn't get to the actual phones. I thought, "If we could just clear all the Uggs out of this store my life would be a lot easier!" Although, to be fair, it wouldn't have improved the phone selection.

But I digress, because what I really want to direction my righteous indignation towards are these monstrosities:

Since I can't find the side-view, let me be clear about what you're looking at. This is a peep-toe clog with a knit upper and reindeer motif. Let's take a look at those adjectives again:

peep-toe clog knit reindeer

To see such words strung together to describe one object - the mind boggles.

Who, who, who would buy these? A Danish beer-maiden?

Where, where, where would one wear them? An apres-ski pedicure party? Does those exist? Screw it, even if they do, that is one event that clearly doesn't necessitate its own unique footwear (and this is coming from a woman who will buy a pair of shoes, and then plan the rest of the outfit around the footwear).

Compared to these Uggs look like a pair of classic black Christian Louboutins. Okay, I may have slightly overstated the case there, but these are pretty damn hideous.