Idols away

As predicted, Jordin Sparks won American Idol last night. So much to talk about from the show - we're going to bullet points:

• Did anyone besides Jane and I notice that Bette Midler can't sing any more?
• Blake and Doug E. Fresh were HOT! And I bet $20 Teri Hatcher (who was in the audience with her daughter) tried to screw them both after the show.
• We know the kids African Children's Choir are from Africa - the clue is in the name. Was it really necessary to drape them in animal skins?
• Paula's hair was so much better than the night before. Was it a wig Tuesday, or was she just too busy to brush her hair after tripping over her dog and breaking her nose? While I celebrate her sobriety, the finales are much more entertaining when she's bombed.
• What do you think Joe Perry was thinking when he was accompanying Sanjaya on "You Really Got Me"? My guess is it was something along the lines of, I'm a member of one of the most successful rock bands of all time, I'm a living legend, I'm slept with millions of women, and now I'm entertaining an emotionally disturbed 10-year-old? How did I get here?
• Who is styling Carrie Underwood? She is a gorgeous girl, I love her music, and yet she seems to have an unhealthy affinity for butt-veils. The gossamer train she wore last night wasn't nearly as offensive as the mourning peacock frock she sported at the AMA's, but it's a worrisome trend.
• What does Ruben Studdard get up to the other 364 days a year he's not at the American Idol Season Finale?
• I love Kelly Clarkson. That girl has got some pipes, and I love that her new song is about some guy that broke up with her, and now he has to hear it played on the radio, in the mall, on television...I don't have the resources for that type of post-breakup come back, so I'm glad that Kelly, who does, is using hers to the fullest.
• Chris Daughtry? One word: yum.

And the best part? So You Think You Can Dance starts tonight! I don't have to go one day without the reality tv talent contests that are so dear to me!