They're called "office hours" for a reason

Back story: I have this one really, really annoying student. She started the semester off OK, and then it just all went downhill from there. She handed in her first paper late. It was Friday at about 6:30 pm when I got a text message from a friend letting me know a student had stopped by to drop off her paper and was really concerned about me getting it (1 pt is taken off for each day it's late, so she wanted to make sure it was counted as being in on Friday, not Saturday). First of all, she's lucky someone was even in the department to accept the paper; the admin staff leaves at 5. Secondly, when my friend told her she'd put the paper in my mailbox, the student asked, "well can you give it to her tomorrow." A.k.a. Saturday? This isn't undergrad - we don't live in dorms!

For the second paper she asked when they'd get their grades - fair enough - and I told her. Then she asked if there was any way to get an estimate earlier. No. How am I supposed to estimate your grade for a paper? I read it and grade it. That's that. I purposefully put hers at the bottom of the stack. She didn't include a works cited page, nor did she make any internal citations, so I noted that was a huge problem and technically constituted plagiarism. She then had the nerve to ask, in lecture - in front of 320 other students, if APA format was okay for the bibliography. First of all, those are questions best left for the TA. Secondly, you've already handed in two papers, you should know the answer by now. Thirdly, just do a frickin' biblio!

So final papers are due Monday, and I've had extended office hours this week - 6, to be exact. I've also let my students know they can e-mail to schedule other times. Apparently I should have added "within reason," because this is what I get:

Thursday, December 11, 2008 2:16 pm
Subject: Question

Hey Amy,
I have classes till four today. Can I meet with you today after 4. Or if not, tomorrow morning?? Let me know.
Student

2:30 pm
Subject: Re: Question

Hi Student,
I'll be in my office until about 5:30 pm today

4:58 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Question

Hey Amy,
I really wont be able to make it by 5 30. Can we meet tomorrow instead????
Student

5:07 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question

I'll be in my office from about 1-5 tomorrow.

1:17 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question

Hey Amy, I'll be in your office at about 3 00. Does that work for you? Let me know.

1:23 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question

That's fine.

A) Nothing like the last minute, huh?
B) This is not T.A. on demand. Show up or don't. It's that simple.
C) While I'd prefer her not showing up this afternoon because I'm feeling vaguely irritated, if I get another e-mail asking me to meet tomorrow, or Sunday, or 11am Monday before the paper's due at 12, I'll kill her.