everyone should have a LBD

Me: I realized when I was doing laundry yesterday that I'm 2 for 2 on the little black cotton dress I bought for New Year's.

Peter: Whadaya mean?

Me: I've gotten lucky both times I've worn it. I'm going to have to save it for special occasions!

Peter: Can I borrow it?

what happened to the good 'ol flu?

Saturday I woke up not feeling so well, and by Monday I was sick enough to decide I needed to see a doctor. She said it was probably the flu, but if I didn't get better or got worse I should come back.

Well, I got worse - a lot worse. Tuesday I was too sick to watch t.v. (yeah, try and wrap you're head around that one). Wednesday is was back to the doctors. She gave me a bag of saline to start getting me rehydrated and was going to send me packing with some antibiotics, but felt some more tests were needed. Jane, a real hospital vet, was nice enough to come with me to the ER, where I spent 5 1/2 hrs getting 2 more litres of saline, IV antibiotics, a CT scan, and ended up leaving with the exact same drugs the first doctor was going to prescribe. Those saline bags are liquid magic! (And I'm sure my insurance company will reflect that in their billing.)

The final diagnosis I was handed down? Colitis. Totally non-specific, just a general inflammation of the large intestine, probably caused by something I picked up in my travels (although no one else got anything and I was eating and drinking the exact same things, so I'm a little confused). So after feeling like shit since Saturday, I'm finally on the mend. The symptoms aren't disappearing quite as quickly as I'd hope, but I just need to be a little more patient.

Here's a list of foods I should avoid:

• alcohol
• caffeine
• carbonated beverages
• dairy products, if lactose intolerant
• dried beans, peas, and legumes
• dried fruits, berries, fruits with pulp or seeds
• foods containing sulfur or sulfate
• foods high in fiber, including whole-grain products
• hot sauce, pepper
• meats
• nuts, crunchy nut butters
• popcorn
• products containing sorbitol (sugar-free gum and candies)
• raw vegetables
• refined sugar
• seeds
• spicy foods, sauces

Wouldn't it be easier to just list what I can eat? It's the BRAT diet - bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. I remember it well from my childhood. Although I think it's weird that greasy foods aren't mentioned. Going by this list, you'd think french fries were perfectly okay. It's all the healthy stuff that'll shred your intestines, which made me think that maybe all those morbidly obese people I saw on Oprah today just have colitis.

Today's menu has been pretty exciting:

breakfast - 1 piece of toast, 1/2 a Vitamin Water
snack - water
lunch - unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon
snack - water
dinner - white rice made with chicken broth, ginger ale
snack - 1/2 a banana, water

I know, I know, I got a little gourmet with dinner. I couldn't help myself. Honestly, I'm just so surprised at feeling something akin to hunger for the first time in 5 days. Bring on the rice.

'cui bono'

Been a tad under the weather this week (all those exciting travels catching up with me), so Monday night I sent out an e-mail to my students canceling class Tuesday morning. I got this response, and it put such a smile on my face. Keep in mind that I teach a statistics lab.

Amy,

Thank you so much! I hope that everything is alright with you, and want you to know that I love hanging out with you every Tuesday morning, but I want to thank you for canceling lab tomorrow. I turn 21 today, and now I can celebrate guilt-free.

You've made my day, Amy.

S

Glad I could make someone's birthday dreams come true, just by feeling like crap.

Barcelona is...

Barcelona is amazing. It's sunny and open. Barcelona feels much less hectic than, say, London or New York. It's a sangria and tapas wonderland.

Barcelona is also under construction.

Luckily the fountain was still pretty.

I think the drape in the front showing what the cathedral is supposed to look like is a nice touch.

La Sagrada Familia has been under construction for over 100 years. It's not like they're redoing it, it's never been finished. I'm all for splendor, but at what point do you just say "screw it" and move on to something else. Gaudi wanted this to be a tribute a Jesus - a dude that hung out in sandals. Don't you think he'd rather the money be used to build a community center or couple hundred soup kitchens? Tapas kitchens?

international eats

I'm back, I'm jet-lagged, and I'm wondering how long I can milk that excuse. I haven't left my apartment in 2 days, but I did manage to shower today and even have some dinner on the stove. Anything I eat, however, is a fantastic disappointment from Barcelona. Once my brain solidifies again I hope to have something witty, or at the very least intelligible, to say but until then, I present you with some Spanish food porn.

jet setting academic?

Disclaimer: Please accept that my current travel plans are not statistically representative of a) my life or b) grad students more generally (in the humanities and social sciences at least, I've no idea what goes on in those buildings with lab coats and latex gloves and safety goggles).

I'm barely back from Mexico - I've stopped peeling, but I still have "tan lines" (a.k.a. extra freckles) - and we clearly went at a good time. The State Department has issued a travel advisory for south of the border. Apparently the war on drugs isn't going so well down there. Fortunately there were no shoot-outs in sight during my trip, just postcard vistas:

I've barely mentioned Mexico, I know, but there's not much to say. It was gorgeous. I didn't check e-mail or turn on my cell phone for 5 days. Everyday my only responsibility was deciding whether I wanted a Miami Vice or Banana Monkey during happy hour (the latter consistently won out - it was a blended beverage that incorporated coconut, banana, chocolate, and rum - yum!). There was a lovely woman named Teddy in a nearby condo who would come by everyday around 2pm and ask if we needed an "attitude adjustment," by which she meant joining her to smoke a blunt. Speaking of which, on the cab ride home the guys were "fake" bargaining with the driver to see what they could get for selling the ladies on the black market, and drugs got mentioned, and he whipped out a small baggie and was like, "coca?!" Why thank you, Paco, but no. Even though Cancun is basically Florida with less old people and more Mexicans, and even if I was interested in drugs, I've seen Broke Down Palace - I don't even go near people that look like they're on drugs when I travel abroad (back home is a different story - they're my friends!). We stuck with the booze. Here I am with my darling Peter - our host for the trip - enjoying one last Corona (draft!) at the aeropuerto:

Peter's goal was to have his ethnicity challenged when he presented his passport on the way home. I think he achieved his goal.

Now I'm off again! I'm returning to my old stomping grounds of Cambridge, UK - home of many good times and an equal number of bad decisions (they're not mutually exclusive categories afterall). We've got a grad student conference over the weekend that's paid for by school, so my friends and I decided to take advantage of cheap European travel fares and hop over to the continent for 3 days in Barcelona, Spain.

I'm making grad school sounds way too good.

she's bAAAAAaaack

Who saw Idol last night? I think we can say with some certainty that Paula is officially off the wagon. Woo hoo!



And holy Botox batman - nothing above her nose was moving. She was looking awfully "taught" in the eye region.

annoying riddle

What's annoying?

A student who never comes to class

What's more annoying?

A student who never comes to class, and then e-mails you to say she's having trouble with the class

What's more annoying than that?

A student who never comes to class, and then e-mails you to say she's having trouble with the class, so you set up a meeting with her, and she's 25 minutes late, with no apology or anything.

And what's even more annoying than that?

A student who never comes to class, and then e-mails you to say she's having trouble with the class, so you set up a meeting with her, and she's 25 minutes late, with no apology or anything, and then when you go to tell your friend about it (because you'd been complaining to her earlier), she says, "Oh yeah, I met your student. She was hanging by the front desk and the admin wasn't there, so I asked her if she needed any help, and she said, 'Yeah, I'm looking for Amy Michel*.' And I said, 'Who?', and he said, 'The girl that teaches the stats lab.' So I said, 'oh, you mean Amy LeClair?' And she said, 'Yeah, her.'"

*There's a slight possibility that, because my middle name is Michelle, it gets chopped off on some forms and comes up as 'Amy Michel.' But not on my syllabus. Or the course website.

season 8 Idol chatter

Don't worry, no spoilers in this post b/c I found out last night my sister is still on Hollywood Week!! Catch up, yo!

So I've been silent on the Idol issue so far this season, but last night was too much. As a general comment on this season, I'm seriously underwhelmed. (Speaking of, when does the new season of Project Runway start? I need me a Michael Kors fix, and my one Marshall's shirt isn't cutting it.) These first few rounds have been more boring than last season's spring line at the Gap. Seriously, the contestants open their mouths to start signing, and I'm falling asleep before they hit a key change.

Then there are the judges. I love Simon - he can do no wrong (except, maybe, for the thinly veiled homophobic jokes). Randy, dawg, we've got to talk. Now Stacey and Clinton always tell us that patterns and accessories to should be proportional to the size of the women wearing them - big lady, big purse; small lady, small print. I try to remember this everyday. But I'm not sure this maxim holds true for men, Mr. Jackson, so just cause you're a bigger dude with a body-by-Grimace does not mean that you should or can wear over-sized accessories. You know exactly what I'm talking about - that watch is the size of the actual sun. It's ridiculous.

Paula should be congratulated on her sobriety - she's been remarkably unremarkable this season. Although last night she kept demonstrating her steal trap memory, which makes me think she might be snorting Ritalin. But even if she is, that's the least of the show's problems. She might also want a new make-up artist as last night I think her blush actually started inside her nostrils before creeping up her cheekbones.

And for the love of GOD we've got to get rid of this kid:

He looks like he got caught in the middle of a bitch fight at Forever 21. There's no other way to explain his "style".

Clearly I will be glued to the TV tonight for the results. Anyone know how they're running the wild card round?

Adios

¿Dónde está la playa?

Dos cervezas, por favor.

Just brushing up on some key Spanish phrases, because tomorrow I'm getting up at 4 am for a 7:25 flight to Cancun, Mexico. Peter got the keys to the family time share and has been chilling drinks for me since Saturday.

I've been warned not to drink the water, and I've promised my dad I won't die in such a way as to shame the family and/or insight an international search for my body.

I'm shutting off my cell phone, the away message is up on my school e-mail account, and I'm not bringing any work with me. It's going to be amazing.

Stories and pictures when I get back. Have a great week!

angel with a sweet tooth

I'm going over Jane's tonight for dinner. Her boyfriend's cooking. He's a restaurateur. Last time I had dinner with them, it was a multi-course meal that included an avocado and beet salad with a lemon vinaigrette; braised short ribs; artichoke, celery root, and bacon risotto; fried artichoke stems stuffed with sausage and cheese; and baked apples with local, organic vanilla ice cream. I love it when I directly benefit from my friend's relationships.

Jane asked me to bring something on which a strawberry sauce would go. (She had already left Whole Foods when she realized she'd forgotten a pound cake). So today I decided to take my first stab at making a chocolate angel food cake. I already made one recipe* with chocolate and egg whites this week, and I'm getting pretty good at separating the eggs:


I was just going to buy egg whites, because as Jane pointed out I wouldn't be cheating, I would be conserving egg yolks. Fortunately I read the carton before leaving the supermarket with Egg Beaters - apparently because they're pasteurized they don't foam well and aren't recommended for meringues or angel food cakes. I was pleased that mentioned that on the packaging.

No problem whipping these babies in shape (stiff peaks, to be exact). I looooove my stand mixer.



Here's the recipe, and the finished product.

* not recommended - they tasted like dirt flavored chocolate meringues

damn you, sat fats!

Yesterday I was doing my usual blog reading - my blog (to see if anyone left comments - I like to know if people are reading, alright?, over to shenanigans, then cake wrecks and postcards from yo momma - when I stumbled upon Bakerella. I don't know how I've never seen it before. Big fan, she's got great recipes and even better pictures.



And so when I saw these, I knew I was going to be in trouble.



I'm heading to Cancun, Mexico, on Tuesday, and I've got to squeeze my fat white ass into this:

(Actually it's kind of nice - in comparison to the alabaster white of the mannequin I almost look tan.)

But I might have to buy the ingredients so when I get back I can stuff my face with that gooey, chocolaty, hybrid baked-good goodness!

just another saturday

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays - like New Year's Eve and the 4th of July - that's so over-rated you end up disappointed if you don't have the most amazing day you've ever had before. Ever.

This year is a little different, though. It's the first Valentine's Day I've been single in 5 yrs, but also the first time I'm not lonely.

After scoring some beautiful ABC Home rugs at a friend's moving party, I bought a bottle of wine and made myself a lovely dinner.

A pretty good Saturday night in my book.

She Swims, She Rides, She Runs, She ROX

Just in case the Stair Climb wasn't enough... I have officially registered for my first triathlon!

A couple of years ago, my sister, inspired by her friend Meghan, did the Danskin Women's Tri. They were joined by my brother-in-law's sister. Well Meg's now got a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old, and Steph's going to pop with #2 in mid-April, so the tri's out for them this year. I've talked about doing it for the last two years, but this year Lisa and I (and some of the other Hotsteppas!) decided we were going to do it.

As motivation, and because they're on sale, Lisa and I ordered these:

Lisa opted for the plain black one, but I thought the piping might make it more flattering, that the flowers would help me look more like a lady and less like a seal. But who am I kidding, there's nothing flattering about this. It's big motivation, though.

And did I mention it's on my birthday? Triathlon for 29. Cruise for 30.

One word answers

Stolen from Beth and Facebook, because the creative juices aren't flowing today:

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag
2. Your significant other? Me
3. Your hair? Long
4. Your mother? Crazy
5. Your father? Loyal
6. Your favorite? Ice cream
7. Your dream last night? Class
8. Your favorite drink? Alcoholic
9. Your dream/goal? Happy
10. What room you are in? Office
11. Your hobby? Shopping
12. Your fear? Failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Elsewhere
14. Where were you last night? Couch
15. Something that you aren’t? Selfish
16. Muffins? Scones
17. Wish list item? Kitchen
18. Where you grew up? Suburbs
19. Last thing you did? Taught
20. What are you wearing? Outfit
21. Your TV? DVR
22. Your pets? Dead
23. Friends? Inspiring
24. Your life? Balanced?
25. Your mood? Preoccupied
26. Missing someone? Kiddies
27. Car? Selling
28. Something you’re not wearing? Sweater
29. Your favorite store? Target
30. Your favorite colour? Blue
31. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
32. Last time you cried? Friday
33. Who will resend this? Stephanie
34. One place that I go to over and over? Boston
35. One person who emails me regularly? Lisa
36. My favorite place to eat? Cafe

Boston Stair Climb - Mission Accomplished

We did it!

We didn't look quite as good when we finished, but we all made it to the top.

We had some good motivation, and we needed it.

41 floors = 82 flights = 789 steps

I started with a light jog. By the 3rd floor I could feel a little heat in my thighs. By the 4th floor the heat was in my knees. By the 5th floor the fire was in my lungs. The only good part was that after the 10th floor it didn't get any worse, so it was just a matter of continuing to move.

Afterwards there was an "awards ceremony" at the Bell in Hand. Shockingly, we weren't the fastest team (the winners were under 5 minutes each). The trophy looked tasty, too.

Thanks to your help, I raised $315, and as a team The Hotsteppas raised $855!

And now I'm back to taking the elevator.

let's talk about sex

[TMI warning: This post contains references to "women's stuff." I don't think I have any male readers, but I know occasionally the brother-in-law stops by, so just in case, and also as a courtesy for any female readers that don't want to hear about my trip to the lady doctor.]



For months I have been trying to go to the gynecologist. Nothing's wrong, I just need to have my yearly exam. It's not like I want to go, but it's like paying your taxes - you gotta do what you gotta do. One of the reasons I do want (although I still think that's too strong of a word) to go is so I can go back on the pill. I went off thinking, 'If I don't need extra hormones in my body, why put them there?' Except then I remembered what happened the last time I did this - my skin looks like a "before" picture on a Proactiv commercial. I don't remember having skin this bad as a teenager, but maybe I just blocked it out. Anyways, the irony is that because I'm not on the pill my cycle is a less predictable, so every time I made an appointment I'd invariably get my freaking period. I was tempted to call and make 1 appointment a week for a month, and then I'd just cancel the ones I didn't need, but knowing my luck I'd end up with the world's longest period.



So I finally go in today. What does the doctor tell me?



"You're ovulating, so no hanky panky without a condom."



First of all, thanks for reinforcing how much sex I'm not having. The nurse already took care of that. Are you in a relationship? Nope. Are you currently sexually active? Nope. Any chance you could be pregnant? Didn't we cover that in the last two questions? I'm pretty sure I'm not a candidate for immaculate conception.



Secondly, if you want to give me a safe-sex talk, that's not the line to take. Pregnancy doesn't scare me nearly as much as that disease that makes you die, because pregnancy, unlike HIV, can be undone.



And I already marked off on the little sheet that in the rare occasion when the stars align and I do get laid, I practice safe sex. Why have me fill it out if you're not going to read it and/or believe my answers? It's like the time the nurse asked me how much I weighed, and then after I answered she looked me up and down and told me to step on the scale. No need to add insult to injury, the paper gown does a sufficient job of stripping my pride.

spinning to the 80s

I was a little nervous when I saw the new spinning instructor this morning. She was wearing full-rise cropped black leggings, white tube socks with black sneakers, and a cut-off white tee shirt. She also had a bad 80s perm. She basically looked like if one of your middle-school friend's moms had been an aerobics instructor.

She was really good, though - I was pleasantly surprised. I talked my friend Ruthie into doing the class with me because RKG, who originally got me into spinning, is a full PhD now and has a real, tenure track job. Ruthie, like RKG, is about 40 lbs lighter than be an is a work-horse - good gym motivation partner.

And when my knees started scream as we did 2-count jumps (sit in the seat for 2, stand and pedal for 2) I just kept thinking, "bikini, bikini, bikini..." every time I pushed the pedal.

In fact, the one I ordered (in hot pink) should be arriving tomorrow. 22 days til Cancun!

just to clarify

Subject: Thought Of You‏

From: Friend (friend@gmail.com)

Sent:Thu 1/29/09 3:43 PM

To: Me (me@hotmail.com)

http://www.lochers.com/accessories11.html

Because it made me laugh - not because I think you're a whore!

blog plagiarism

Well, it's not really plagiarism because I'm appropriately citing the original idea to Beth over at Shenanigans, my ultimate blog muse.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? I'm torn between invisibility and the ability to freeze time, like Evie on "Out of this World."

What is your favorite weather, and why? Mild spring or fall days where the sun is shining, so I can wear jeans a flip-flops and don't need a jacket/sweater.

What time do you usually get up? 8-8:30.

What is your most challenging goal right now? Immediate: Writing my dissertation. Long term/life goal: finding the elusive happy medium.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Beth is a real inspiration to me. She's an amazing writer, she has worked so hard to carve out a career as a free-lancer. She inspired me to blog in the first place, she's uber supportive of my own writing, academic and otherwise. She just never ceases to surprise me in awesome and unexpected ways.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Toughy, but I've got to go with New York City.

Favourite vacation spot? Somewhere tropical, warm, sunny, relaxing, with a pool, fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them, and no cell phone or internet access. And I'm going to one such location in 28 days!

What is your favourite children’s book? For babies, Pat the Bunny. For slightly older kids, The Phantom Tollbooth.

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Boys.

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Again, toughy. Dead: Niki de Saint-Phalle. Alive: Hillary Clinton

What are you wearing now? black Nike sweatpants, Providence College sweatshirt, glasses. se-xy.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? I actually don't like reading books more than once, but the few I have are: The Chronicles of Narnia, I Know this Much is True

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? When You are Engulfed in Flames, David Sedaris.

Do you nap a lot? Trying to cut back.

Who was the last person you hugged? Jane, a.k.a. my cookie

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? hmm, there's the new season of Rock of Love Bus, American Idol is heating up, and I'm currently obsessed with chocolate yogurt, either from Trader Joe's or Stoneyfield

What was the last thing you ate today? oatmeal made with skim milk, dried apples, cinnamon, and ground flax seed; hazelnut Dunkin Donuts coffee with skim milk and Splenda

What was the last thing you said aloud? can't remember

What websites do you always visit when you go online? Hotmail, NYU home, Facebook

What was the last thing you bought? Starbucks - tall skinny vanilla latte, tall soy chai latte, chocolate covered graham crackers (which Jane wanted to split but I thought were gross)

What are you listening to right now? the sounds of cars and trucks driving by on the wet slush, supers shoveling the sidewalks (not mine!); on my iPod, Kate Nash Made of Bricks

What movie are you most excited to show your kids? The Brave Little Toaster, Adventures in Babysitting

What were you like when you were five? I don't remember, probably transitioning from shy to precocious, chasing Andrew Rosin around day care trying to kiss him (I was clearly destined to be a fag hag)

What word or phrase do you hate? "ain't"; "I didn't know"; "Nobody told me"; any phrase in which a word is used incorrectly; double negatives

If you had £1,000 (or $, €) what would you spend it on? paying down debt