Halloweenapalooza!

Highlights from out Halloween party. Beth made an amazing roller derby chick as Ivana Tripabich.

Anne and her friends were truly, truly outrageous as Jem and the Hollograms. Her friend, Jenny was JFK, resurrected from the dead. (Her partner Paige, not pictured, made a great Jackie O zombie). Yours truly adopted the persona of Nana Phyllis, an active senior, complete with "World's Best Grandma" coffee mug and a fanny pack containing pictures of the grandkids, mints, and tissues. My darling friend Hannah, visiting at IPK for 3 months, was a boozy Mary Poppins. Her "medicine bottle" contained tequila, which went well with a spoon full of "sugar" (salt).

Festive cupcakes with bones, bats, pumpkin and spider sprinkles.

The night before, I got to practice my make-up skills when my friends resurrected Patty and Mona from last year. Here's the before:

And here's the after. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

The in-flight demonstrations on the subway never get old for me.

Time to start to think about next year's costume!!

gettin' the boot(s)

Oh, Happy Day! Since last spring when I decided to abandon once and for all the Etienne Aigner's that made me feel like the bones in my feet were going to break every time I wore them, I have been on the look out for new, leather, knee-high boots. This has not been an easy task. There are tons of boots out there, but the majority are not what I'm looking for; they're too something. Too suede, too slouchy, too swashbuckling, too fuzzy, too juvenile, too high, too pointy, etc. etc. I found a cute pair of Ciao Bella's last year, but decided to hold off on buying them because I was on my way to a movie and didn't want to lug around the box. Big mistake.





So for the past 6+ months I have looked at literally hundreds of boots to no avail. Finally, I found what I wanted. Another pair of Ciao Bella's, they were (are) perfect - nice details, not too much hard ware, rounded toe, modest heel. Only one problem - they were $179. I really wanted them, but I could not bring myself to spend that much on 1 pair of shoes. I recently picked up another class for the semester (another adjunct was sidelined for the rest of the semester with a medical emergency), so I decided with the extra money I'd get the boots. But I still didn't want to spend so much! Piperlime, where I'd found them, had a 3 day sale, but my first pay check hadn't come in yet, and I was broke. Now I was torn - on the one hand I didn't want to wait forever for another sale; I wanted to start wearing them! On the other hand, if my mother did one thing she raised me to be a sale shopper - I'll do extraordinary and ridiculous things for a bargain!





At last, my prayers were answered! Piperlime has 30% a ton of their stock until October 25th. I ordered them last week, and they arrived today. I wouldn't let myself open the box until I'd finished grading my first set of papers (it's midterms - kill me). Task accomplished approximately 10 minutes ago, I tore open the box, lifted the tissue, pulled out the shaping stuffing, and slid my feet into these brown beauties like an urban Cinderella. They're perfect.

Now if only it weren't going to be 68 degrees tomorrow so I could actually wear them!

big Boston weekend

I love MA in the fall, so last weekend's great weather made for an even better weekend.

Friday night I had planned to "take it easy" - famous last words. Lisa and Christina are running the NYC ING marathon in 2 weeks. They're raising money for Team for Kids and had a fundraising event at The Point. It started off easy, and then it ended like this:

Such a gentleman, and quite the dancer.

Saturday was a day of rest that involved lunch with my Grampy, some light shopping, and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Sunday my friend Stacey, aka rs. John Stamos, got married! It was a beautiful day, and everything went beautifully. I had never been to a Greek ceremony before, and, ooh boy, they give a Catholics a run for their money in the best-mass-by-sheer-length category.

The best part of the reception? It's a toss-up between the groom serenading the bride to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" while she rocked the air guitar and the bride and groom's final dance to "I Want to Grow Old With You" from The Wedding Singer

Monday I was a very proud spectator at the the Tufts 10k for Women where I cheered on Lisa, my sister, and her friends (big shout out to Meghan, Dacia and Karen).

I rounded out the weekend with a quick visit to my sister's to see my favorite practicing potty-trainer and my favorite person just getting onto solid foods:

The perfect weekend!

and this is one of the good ones

Here's an e-mail I received from a student who missed class today (and, incidentally, one who I really like):

Hello Professor,
I will not be making it to class today. I think I have overdone it and I have run myself ragged!!! I am dosed up and unfortunately I have an exam later and something I have to deliver to my other professor that I have to give in today, so I don't want to come and infect the rest of the class!!! I look forward to seeing you next week and if I have any midterm paper questions, I will email you. Is that alright?
All the best,
Student

P.S. - Please ignore that big run-on sentence above. :(

If you want me to ignore, why'd you send it? Alternatively, you could just delete the run-on sentence, and then I wouldn't have to ignore it. Easy on the Sudafed, kiddo.

my little pumpkins

Zachary is 6 months old today! And he is growing up to be such an adorable little pumpkin, just like his big sister.

He's already old enough to be annoyed by his big sister. I love the look on his face, like, "You love me, I get it. Now leave me alone."

pet piggy?

It's my dad's birthday - Happy Birthday, Tom! (He doesn't read this blog - I'd rather hit myself in the face with a cast iron pan than discuss my dating life with my father). Aunt Mary sent around some suggestions for gift ideas, including these little potential pets!

Minature pot-bellied pigs!

autumnal

I love fall. It's probably my favorite season. Yesterday I had plans to go hiking and apple picking with some friends. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate, but we did get to do some great leaf-peeping and apple buying. We rented a Zipcar and traveled up to Fishkill Farms. Even with the rain, it was apple-tastic.

We had fresh, warm apple cider donuts - yum! And I bought lots of little gourds for a pumpkin-scape.

On our way back to the city, we made a pit stop at a Target (because that's what you do when you're a New Yorker with a car for the day). I picked up a Mr. Potato Head pumpkin decorating kit, and these little felt buckets were in the $1 section.

They are now filled with candy, of course. And then on to the main event - apple pie!

I even made my own crust from scratch with a recipe from this month's Bon Appetit. It was surprisingly easy. I was going to attempt a lattice crust, but opted for a regular top. I used a small cookie cutter to cut the excess dough into small leaves and rimmed the crust with them (I stole the idea from Martha).

The crust burnt a little, but it was still delicious.

dissection of a dating profile

A few weeks ago I decided to reactivate my profile on a dating website. It's not one I pay for - I'm not that invested at the moment - but my new attitude towards dating is something like "allowing for the possibility." I'm not putting a ton of effort into it, but I've taken it a step beyond sitting on the couch and hoping that the delivery guy is also my soul mate.

The problem for me is that I frequently look at a bunch of profiles and think, "if these are my options, I'll stick with Plan A of becoming a crazy cat lady." And I don't even like cats that much.

I've gotten 3 e-mails so far. One was from an obvious freak. His screen name is "babetheox", and let's just say that my immediate response to his message was "ew ew ew ew ew."

Then there's this guy. Let's start with his headline, which is the little box above your screen name, picture and age.

I believe there is always new thing to learn in life

You mean, you believe there are always new things to learn in life? Or, you believe there is always some new thing to learn in life? I realize pulling out the red pen right away might be a little nit-picky, but poor grammar and/or lack of proof reading is such a turn off. Now if I thought English was his second language, I'd be more forgiving, but under languages spoken he only put English. He's also allegedly in graduate school. I'm having a hard time buying that. Here's the rest of his profile:

My most humbling moment: when I took my college diploma

If you're the first college grad in your family, I'll take it, but otherwise - barf.

Five items I can't live without: LOVE, HONESTLY, FAMILY, FOOD, MONEY

Honestly, I don't think they're asking for basic needs. By definition, and item is a noun. "Honestly" is an adverb. You should have learned this before you got your college diploma.

Fill in the blank: _____ is sexy; _____ is sexier.beauty; inner beauty

Did you get that from a fortune cookie or a motivational coffee table book? Wait, it gets better.

"Why you should get to know me"
those things descibe me well:Thinks far with vision, Easily influenced by kindness,Polite and soft-spoken,Having lots of ideas ,Sensitive,Active mind,Hesitating Tends to delay,Choos the best,Temperamental,Funny and humorous ,Loves to joke Good debating skills,Friendly,Knows how to make friends,Abiding,Able to show character,Easily hurt,Prone to getting colds,Loves to dress up,Takes time to recover when hurt,Brand conscious,Executive

Where to begin?!?! It's a cornucopia of mockery-in-the-making. My sarcastic bitch wiring is short circuiting form overload! First these things that describe you well make you look like an idiot! Where did you get these? The Tao of Pooh? When you're having lots of ideas, do you filter through any of them? Was it before or after you graduated college that you found out that hesitating doesn't just "tend" to delay, it is, by definition, an act of delaying. Congratulations on your "good debating skills," now how about honing those editing skills? "Prone to getting colds"? Might I recommend some vitamin C supplements. "Loves to dress us"? Dress up, as in go to a black tie event, or dress up as in put on your mother's sensible black bumps and best church dress and spy on your neighbor as she gets out of the shower? "Takes time to recover when hurt"? I am disappointed that you're not Wolverine, but I really can't fault you for that.

I could go on and on, but there's more material for me to critique!

"More about what I'm looking for"
well, what I'm looking for in a person, just a normal person with some real human characters, kindness , honesty, faith and... so I'm not lookig for some thing special and you may be that one I'm looking for.

[shaking head an rubbing eyes] WTF?!? Okay, you're human, you're looking for a human, that you've made clear. It helps that this isn't a dating sight for mythic creatures, cyborgs and aliens. I may be that some thing special that you're not looking for? Or I may be that one you're looking for, who is not some thing special? Are you on drugs?

His e-mail was the most normal thing about him. He wrote, "I think you can learn more by spending 5 minutes with someone than a month of emails so lets just meet for a drink!"
Um, thanks but no thanks. I think I've learned enough from your profile. Either you're Balki Bartokomous (although you don't come across as that charming), or you're unimaginative and lazy, neither of which I'm particularly interested in at the moment.

Let's home #3 offers something more appealing.

a love to dream of

god hates protesters

A few days ago one of my friend's linked to the Huffington Post's "best protest" signs, which I found hysterical. Today, another friend and gay activist linked to god hates protesters. You've really got to stop by and check these out - they're hilarious.

This was my favorite; I actually laughed out loud.

fat bottomed girl gets fit

Ah, weight loss. How I loathe thee. I mean, I love losing weight, but it's the constant battle with my body that I hate.

So I'm finally trying to do something about it that doesn't involve wasting money on more diet books, a trip to GNC to put some weird chemicals in my body, or torturing myself over every ounce of booze, chip of chocolate and quarter cup of ice cream. (Honest to god, when was the last time you ate only 1/4 cup of ice cream in one sitting?)

This morning my darling friend/colleague/mentor/lifecoach Ruthie sent me a link to one of her favorite blogs, Fit Bottomed Girls. Today they have a post about how blogging can help with your weight loss goals, and since my creative blogging juices haven't been flowing quite so freely of late I figured I'd give it a try.

I would love for food to not be an issue in my life. I know I need to change my relationship with food, because it's currently not a good one. It's just always THERE, literally and figuratively. And when other things in my life are going less-than-well it's one of the first things I turn to for either comfort or a sense of control - both reasons are unhealthy. Food and my weight became a much bigger issue than they should have in my last relationship (clearly symptoms of the much bigger problems that lead to its demise). He just couldn't understand the problem:

Him: Well if you want to lose weight, just eat less and exercise more.
Me: Holy shit! I can't believe I've never thought of that!! You've solved my lifetime of food/weight/body image issues in one sentence! Hazaah!

Yeah. That didn't end well.

But I do feel stupid for disliking my weight and not being able to just lose it. My therapist has suggested Weight Watchers, and I know so many people who swear by it, but I really don't have the time or the money (although, if losing weight is so important I should make time). Fortunately the fantastic Ruthie also informed me that with a referral NYU provides up to 12 visits with a nutritionist. Done.

I was told to keep a food journal with the approximate quantities and times I was eating. I was concerned about my first visit. If she was super skinny I was going to hate her immediately. Also, being in a university setting, I knew the majority of her patients would be anorexic and/or bulimic girls on the verge of heart failure, and I just had this image in my mind of me walking down the corridor like Godzilla, breaking the emaciated waifs in half as my giant hips swished from side to side like a wrecking ball, their bony frames impaled into the walls. Move over, skeletons, fatty's coming through!

Fortunately, that didn't happen. No one else was there, and the nutritionist is slender but not skinny, athletic but not jacked. She's a little perky, and she's about my age, so I still hold both of those things against her as a person but not as a professional. When I expressed my frustration over not being able to put my knowledge into action she totally validated my feelings, which was a huge help. "Most Americans are hyper-aware of nutrition. You dieters probably know more than I do about calories. If it was about knowledge, I wouldn't have a job."

I left the first meeting feeling, well, hopeful. I can be fixed. Who knew? So what am I learning? Since it's free knowledge and most people would have to pay $80 a session to see a nutritionist, I feel I should share:

• Keep a journal. It's one of the most proven techniques for changing the role of food in your life. For example, the nutritionist realized in our first session that 6pm is my problem hour. Everything's good up until then. So now I plan out a snack for around that time period, before I head home to make dinner. I'm much less likely to stop and get chips, candy, etc.
• Splenda or sugar? Go with sugar. Splenda has 4 calories a packet; sugar has 16. But because Splenda is a chemical (e.g. foreign substance) the body doesn't digest it in the same way. It ferments in your digestive system, giving you bloating and gas. It also spikes your sugar levels, so you'll be hungrier sooner.
• Don't deny yourself foods. If anything is off limits, you obsess over it.
• Counting calories isn't necessary. If you "save up" calories for splurges, you tend to go crazy, and again you obsess over what you're going to "spend" those calories on.
• Have dessert as dessert, a.k.a. after a meal. The protein and fiber from your meal will a) make you eat less, and b) slow down the body's processing of the sugar, so it's less likely to spike your blood sugar.

What she's working on with me is based on the book Intuitive Eating, which I've bought but haven't read yet. The idea is that if you listen to your body, it'll tell you when it's hungry and when it's full - I actually have a hunger and fullness scale that I use to measure my feelings before and after I eat. (1 = passing out; 10 = you've stuffed yourself so much the food is coming back up your esophagus because there is physically no more space in your stomach; the goal is to stay between a 3 and a 7).

In the first 2 weeks I gained 1lb. Definitely wasn't happy getting off the scale, but I'm sticking with it. It's going to take more than 2 weeks to change a lifetime of bad habits. I'll keep you updated.

Now, if you'll excuse me, fatty needs a snack - she's at a 3 and getting grumpy.

have mercy!

A few months ago you helped my friend Stacey win a cake for having the best engagement story. Last night was Stacey's bachelorette party in NYC, and it could not have been a more perfect way to complete the story.

Her friend Kyle, who had been integral in orchestrating the proposal, went to see Bye Bye Birdie last week, which happens to be currently starring the one and only John Stamos. Kyle met the former Full House star at the stage door after the show and told him the bride-to-be's story. Uncle Jessie loved it, and when Kyle told him the bachelorette was going to be in the city the next week, Stamos assured him that he'd come out and say "hi." Only 2 people out last night knew this until dinner.

We waited outside for about 30 minutes. When the cast starting coming out we had to pretend like we'd seen the show and say, "good job!" to all the kids signing playbills around us. When Mr. Stamos finally came out we had to beat off the beast of a woman behind us desperately trying to get an autograph. I heard one of the girls say, "Can you move your playbill out of the shot?!" and immediately grabbed the woman's wrist and yanked it out of the way. Stacey had already made it very clear that if we didn't get a good picture of her and her Greek TV hero, she would slay us.

Stamos did not disappoint. He had Stacey tell the story again; she told him he made being Greek cool when she was little; he kissed her on the cheek, gave her a hug, and signed her "bachelorette" sash. It was PFA - pretty fucking awesome.

feeling like fall

Despite my apprehension over back-to-school, I am loving signs of fall. I wish we could get a few weeks or even days of the low 70's/high 60's weather; that doesn't seem to be happening. But I'm ready for fall - I want to switch out my clothes, put away all the skirts and capri pants I never fit into this summer anyways, pack up the sandals, and break out the sweaters. I think fall is my best season. Skirts with thick tights and knee-high boots, warm sweaters with jeans, and a fleece blanket on my lap while I enjoy the fall line-up (I actually put the season premiere's of House, How I Met Your Mother, and Glee on my calendar).



You know what else fall means? Pumpkins. I love pumpkins. I love seeing them, decorating them, baking with them, and - most of all - eating them. I make a phenomenal pumpkin-pear crumble; I highly recommend giving it a try. So imagine my excitement yesterday when I went to the grocery store near my office to pick up a snack and saw Stonyfield had a limited edition pumpkin pie flavored yogurt. I like pie, and I like pie flavored yogurt - apple pie, key lime pie, lemon meringue pie - all good things. Now imagine my disappointment when, after swirling my spoon through the thick, creamy, pale pumpkin colored goop, I tasted it. I kind of smacked my lips for a few seconds trying to decide if I liked it, and then my face puckered like I'd bit into a lemon. NG - no good. They don't use aspartame or other artificial sweeteners in their products, so I don't know what that aftertaste was, but I did not like. Highly disappointing.



But to leave a sweet taste in my mind, if not my mouth, and a smile on my face, fortunately I have other pumpkins to please me.

never say never

Stephanie sent out a link today to pictures of the kdis she had taken a few weeks ago. They are so cute. Zachary is getting so big, and Kayley is continuing her transformation from "baby" to "little girl" in the most amazing ways (we "talked" on the phone a few weeks ago - it was awesome).

I love my niece and nephew. I love having a matching set - one of each. But I certainly wouldn't say "no" to another one. I sent Steph an e-mail telling her what beautiful children she and Scott produce, and asked if they were considering a third.

Her response?

Wed, Sep 9, 2009 at 11:10 AM,
Amy wrote:
soooo, thinking about a 3rd?

ARE YOU INSANE!!!!!

I'm not sure if that's a "maybe" or a "not right now."

I'm glad somebody can find them

From my recent trip to San Diego, my friend Toni sent me an e-mail with the subject: "And these are..."

"...breasts, Luca!"*

What a great picture this will be to pull out when before the prom, when the college girlfriend comes home, etc.

*In case you wondering, I was wearing a Yoga to the People tee shirt, Luca was pointing to the letters saying, "O's!", like his Cheerios.

Seeking Home for 2 Family Dogs

Attention readers in the greater Boston/New England area: This was passed along from a friend - please forward to anyone you know who might be interested!

Two gorgeous labs - trained - Seeking Home for Family Dogs Cookie and Coco

We are moving overseas in just 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I have still not been able to find a good home for Cookie and Coco . We're not able to take our beloved doggies with us and I've been desperately trying to find a home for both of them 'together'. They were raised together and pine without each other. The Lab rescue have already said that they would probably separate them, so this is my last resort. Recently I tried to take Coco out in my car alone and she TOTALLY refused to even get into the car without Cookie.....!!!! She absolutely pulled back on her haunches until Cookie was by her side. Both doggies are in great health, have been spayed and have ID chips implanted under the skin. Cookie turned 3 December 10th and Coco turned 3 April 1st. Cookie is my mellow-yellow, and just loves her tummy rubbed. Coco is adorably funny and lives for her "ball." She also loves the water...... Cookie loves lots of attention. Both doggies are loyal and love to walk. They have been raised with my 3 kids running around all over the place, and have survived Sammy's constant hugging and love of 'dress-up', so they are fantastic family dogs.T his is by far one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make,but under the circumstances I have no choice. Please, please forward these pics to all your friends. I want to find a great home for these fabulous doggies. They are just adorable and it's heartbreaking to let them go. In a perfect world, I hope that we could find someone local so that we can still keep in touch and visit them. *I pray that someone, somewhere can help us keep Cookie and Coco together, and love them just as much as we do.* Even if you can’t take them, please pass this around!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Contact: Katherineat:kjmorris74[at]yahoo[dot]com

like daughter, like mother?

Kayley's been going through quite a growth spurt lately, both physically and developmentally. Apparently she's been quite the little stunt woman lately. She fell at daycare and bumped her head on a window sill. She took a digger in the driveway and scraped both her knees and her arm. Steph said she was standing on the couch (not allowed) when her dad came home, and K got so excited she just stepped off the couch.

Now, in my head I'm thinking 'like mother, like daughter,' but I didn't want to say it. Fortunately, Steph beat me to it: "Not only does the apple not fall far from the tree, the apple is still part of the tree."

Seriously, it's genetic. We come from a family of fallers. I'm not talking little stumbles, I'm talking careening down the stairs of the Bunker Hill monument, shattering knee caps (multiple times), breaking toes, backs, heels off shoes, cutting open faces. My sister's nick name in high school was "step funny." Clearly, Kayley takes after her mother.

But apparently she takes after her auntie, too. K's really coming in to her terrible two's. Last week she got mad at Steph so she left the room, got her blocks, and came back in the room to throw them. She didn't just grab what was available and chuck it, she chose her weapon. (Fortunately for Steph, she didn't choose one of her wood block puzzles!) "She has you in her!" Steph told me. Me? "Yes, you. She just gets this look, and I'm like, 'I know that look. That's Amy. I already grew up with this!'" My aunt confirmed.

The other day, Steph asked her, "Do you channel Auntie Amy?"

K's response? "No, mommy, you channel Auntie Amy." She has no idea what that means, but she knows how to say it with attitude.

Apparently my niece's inner bitch is Auntie Amy.

shoe-pinion

I popped into DSW this morning to buy a hat for my triathlon and, of course, walked out with a pair of shoes.

I bought the Franco Sarto Label in black. I like the brown better, but they didn't have my size, so when I got to my office I searched for them online. Apparently I got quite a deal this morning, because I paid $36, and the cheapest I can find them online is $50.


So here's my quandary: Do I buy the brown for $50? Do I stick with the black or return it? I'm not in love with this shoe, but I've been searching high and low for something more "professional" and this really fits the bill. I'd love a black peep-toe with a slight wedge, but I feel like Goldilocks searching for a four-leaf clover (how's that for a mixed metaphor?!). In other words, I thing the one that's "just right" is going to be next to impossible to find.


Help!

guerrilla girls

I'm teaching a course in the fall called Gender & Communication. In prepping my first lecture on the waves of feminism, I came across this, and had to share.

Take that, art snobs! Grrr.

insult + injury

Remember back in February when I announced I'd made the asinine decision to do a triathlon on my birthday? Well the time has almost come; the race is on Sunday. Honestly, it can't come soon enough; I want this mo-fo over and done with.

Yesterday I finally took the bike out for a 10.5 mile ride around Prospect Park, accompanied by my friend, colleague, gym buddy and life coach, Ruthie. Thank god for her, because if I'd been on my own I would have quit after about 20 min.

I was exhausted afterwards. I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep. I slept awful last night. I've been going to occupational therapy for nerve entrapment in my right arm (I was losing feeling in my last 2 fingers while typing and decided that wasn't a good sign), so I have to sleep with this big blue soft brace on my right arm to keep me from bending it. I look like I'm going to do falconry or something; fortunately no one sees me sleeping! Anyways, it was bothering me last night, and I kept waking up with my left arm numb. (I clearly used to sleep with my right arm bent under my pillow, which was part of the problem, so now I'm just abusing the left side instead).

While waiting for the subway I caught sight of some one's iced coffee and remembered, a little too late, the one I'd left sitting on the kitchen counter. I had the forethought to brew a full pot of coffee last night, put it in the fridge, and make myself an icy caffeinated treat in a travel mug. I just forgot to take it with me.

When I walked into OT the first thing my therapist said was, "You look exhausted." "Great," I thought, "I do look as bad as I feel." Well I only felt worse when I saw how hot her other patient was. He was gorgeous and not wearing a wedding ring! If that wasn't bad enough, she made me do these exercises that I've decided are not actually therapeutic and are just designed to make me look like an ass. I pinch my thumb and first finger together, making an "OK" sign. Then I put my other fingers on my chin/cheek and rotate my hand upward so the thumb comes up to my eyebrow. Last week when doing them she told me I looked like Dame Edna.

After OT I went to the gym to give my tri-suit a try in the pool. I saw not one but two of my former students at the pool. They're both girls I like and have a good rapport with, but I prefer to see them when I'm not dressed like an elephant seal on its way to a luau. I felt the need to explain to the one student who was life guarding that I didn't always dress like this when doing laps. And then my cap ripped. For anyone that swims, you understand how frickin' annoying it is when you're about to get in the pool, and your cap rips. Fortunately my hair is short now so I could swim without one, but it also meant that I swallowed a lot of water because my hair kept getting in my mouth when I tried to breathe.

This day has got to get better.