Not like beating a dead horse, actually beating one

Not to be insensitive but...I'm about to saying something many people will probably find insensitive. That's what the phrase "not to _" sets you up for. Other popular ones are "Not to be mean, but __", but you're ugly. Or, white people love this one, "Not to be racist, but __," but minorities should just stop being poor. [And as a sociologist I've found going into a detailed history of race relations and social policy in the United States isn't a particularly effective rebuttal. I've switched to, "Not to say that you're ignorant, but..."] The "not to" part is a lie we tell ourselves before we say something socially unacceptable. Just own up to it.

So not to be a bitch, but I don't get what the big deal with Barbaro is. I had never even heard of this horse until I accidentally watched the news the other night, too lazy to change the channel after Numb3rs ended. Now all of a sudden the country is mourning, and headlines everywhere are eulogizing him like he was a war hero or a baby in a well.

Now let me be clear about something: I don't hate animals. I eat meat and wear leather, but I think fur is unnecessary. I have lots of respect for the discipline it takes to be a vegetarian (with the exception of my friend Jess who claims to be a vegetarian but eats bacon because "it's lovely.") In sum, I will agree to disagree with just about anyone on the place of animals in the food chain. But excessive animal rights fanaticism drives me nuts. Again, it's not that I'm for cruelty to animals. I don't need lip plumper that badly that you should have to burn off the lips of a bunny to test it first first. On the other hand, if it's between a person and a mouse popping a new pill to see if it causes anal leakage or bleeding from the eye sockets, I'm going to volunteer the mouse.

PETA people are the ones that really drive me nuts. I got on the subway once and some guy entered the car and began to speak. Thinking he was asking for money I took off my earphones - while I don't usually give to people I try to treat them with dignity and respect (because they are human beings contrary to some popular beliefs). He had something the size of collapsible camping chair in a large black plastic garbage bag, but that didn't strike me as odd (I was a seasoned New Yorker at this point). Then I heard him say, "In this bag I have the carcass of a dead fox, raised on a fur farm..." I'm sorry, you've got a WHAT in that bag?!? While I hold no certifications from the NY Department of Health I'm pretty sure that's got to be a violation of some code. And please explain to me how bringing a dead animal in a Hefty Cinch Sack onto public transportation helps the cause?

This is the thing with PETA people - they are clearing putting a lot of time, energy and resources into their crusade. I respect the commitment, but I just think their priorities are screwed. Why don't you put down the rotting, furless fox and pick up a book to read to a child. Imagine if that time and energy went into ending poverty, or increasing literacy, or ensuring that all pregnant women in America saw a doctor before their babies are born! Radical for some, I know, but really it's just common sense.

So go ahead, mourn the horse. But mourn a dead Iraqi child while you're at it, just for good measure. Now, not to be lazy, but I'm going to need a latte so I can continue musing on politics and charity from the confines of my swank SoHo deparment office...