Text conversation with MMR from Wednesday night during Idol.

[Crazy crier, who at least admits she’s not a singer]
M: This girl needs paula’s meds
M: Mom make it stop!
M: She is from here I think. Somewhere on the upper west side a shriek pierces the air through a zabar’s
A: Oh my god. She was in the city. Our lives were in danger! And we had no idea
[47 Frank Sin…notsomuch]
M: New yor, new yor?
A: I’d rather ride the subway with my molester than half of these contestants
M: Seriously!
[Canadian girl]
A: Okay the broach on her shirt is bigger than her breasts
M: Bigger than her head
A: She’s definitely got Canadian teeth
M: Bigger than her head
[Opera girl]
M: If she had one more bracelet she’d have to put it in her pocket
A: I’m having a flashback to the 5th grade.
A: But I don’t think my eyebrows were ever that bad. I’m sorry does she have a dream catcher in her hair?
M: I was just about to write that.
A: We’re psychic AND brilliant
M: We deserve some sort of salary for this
A: Let’s be bitchiness consultants
M: We could be sponsored by elder bitches like an apprenticeship. Maybe there is a segment of AARP
A: Let’s contact Joan Rivers. She will guide us
[Nicholas, last season’s bow out]
A: but if he succeeds Hoboken will be robbed of one of it’s finest
[Isadora coming up]
A: I feel like I should insert a diaphragm before watching this next girl
M: I can’t wait yet I’m scared to death
A: Are there more auditions next week? Please say yes. Let’s do this with champagne and hors d’oeuvres
M: Def
M: The family of birds living in carole’s hair are like ‘fuck this frightening shit we’re heading south’
A: Not to state the obvious but if she’s a clairvoyant shouldn’t she know how this turns out?
[scenes from next week]
A: oh yeah, we’ll need alcohol
[large woman decked in yellow flashes her mid-region]
A: I’m blind
M: more like heroin
A: I’ll bring a belt. Safe travels my evil & witty partner in commentary
M: Until next week!