The binge continues

I’m gross, I realize this, but I’m also kind of genius in my cupboard based concoctions of grossness.

I started off the day yesterday like a person who not only cares about her physical condition but is actively involved in improving and/or maintaining her health – multivitamin, brisk walk to the gym, quick jaunt on the treadmill, bumped it up a notch on stair master. Moved to the mats for some abs and stretches. Some chick tried her best to thwart be by going through a seemingly endless number of sun salutations on top of me (seriously, these are the quick stretch mats – yoga or elliptical, pick one). I even did the plank, and by conjugating irregular French verbs I lasted 45 seconds. Arms – boo yeah! Rock on.

Oatmeal? Normal. Salad? Normal. Grapes? Apple? Normal and normal.

I thought I had impeded my impetus to ingest totally unnecessary food with a late afternoon (early evening?) snack of Stacy’s Parmesan Garlic and Herb pita chips and a KitKat washed down with a Coke Zero (nectar of the GODS). I underestimated myself.

Flash forward to 9:30pm. When I had peanut butter with my apple in the afternoon I nuked it for a few seconds (it was in the fridge). Perfect, made it smooth and creamy. At home I put roughly 3 Tlbs in a bowl and set the microwave for 2 minutes – I don’t know what I was thinking. It was dry and crumbly. What could I use to emulsify it? Milk? Oh, hello Hersey’s chocolate syrup! When I drizzled it on the singed PB it made a bizarre crackling noise. Once that subsided the consistency worked. But what to pair it with? Pretzels? Oh, hello No Pudge ice cream bar in the freezer (I've lost my self control but not my sense of irony). Yummmmmmmmmmm.

Like I said, gross, but creative, inventive, and edible.

While I was enjoying my delicious blend of tastes, textures and temperatures I caught a few minutes of the new game show “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” I might be gross, but at least I know the name of the ship on which the Pilgrims came. I’ll take slovenly over stupid any day, as long as I can get some Nutella to go with it.