Turkey Day Redux

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and the countdown to Christmas on. Now that I'm caught up on my grading and my undergrad class has ended for the semester (sweet!), however, I wanted to take time to pause and reflect on the last holiday before speeding on to the next.

We had dinner at my sister's house, and it was a lovely, if brief, day. (Seniors and toddlers have short attention spans).

Kayley showed off her new communication skills signing for food and naming dada, mama, and cat. Here she is with them (the cat tends to hide when K's around).

Kayley's "reading" her "Melmo" ("Elmo") book after her nap. I think it was one of Steph's co-workers who pointed out that Elmo is like crack for kids - they go mad for it!

High lights of the day included:

• Kayley saying "Auntie Amy" (or something remarkably close, so I'm just going to give her a pass on it)
• sweet potato casserole, corn casserole, corn bread - screw the turkey, give me seconds on sides
• my mother backing out of the driveway and hitting a bush, then trying to pull forward a little bit and hitting the gas instead of the brake, accelerating, and narrowly missing a car and the basketball pole before driving into the backyard (note: no alcohol was involved)
• my brother-in-law giving a "shout out" to my uncle and his partner during grace
• asking my grandmother is she wanted to sit while she ate dessert, and her responding, "No, I can eat more standing up"

and the kicker

• we went around the table saying what we were thankful for, and when we got to Grammy, she just said, "Pass." She's 95; it's her prerogative.

And now full-steam ahead to Christmas! I'm writing out my Christmas cards, putting the "Elf" Soundtrack back on my iPod, and tomorrow my roomie and I are going to get a tree!

shoe savings alert!

Attention Shoe Addict readers and fellow shoe lovers! Piperlime, one of my favorite shoe websites, is offering 20% today only. Enter code MONDAY at checkout.

Now I've been really good about not shopping for the past 2 months, not necessarily by choice, but frugal nonetheless. My only real personal purchases since I moved back to NYC were the watch and the wellies, but both are highly functional - utilitarian almost. Friday I went shopping with Lisa, however, and the beast has been unleashed. Here are just some of the yummies I found cruising piperlime for 10 minutes:






Normally I'm against shoes that a) look like they have a built-in sock and/or b) mix materials, but I really like these brown faux-mary jane boots. Good sized heel, consistently good reviews, cheap - I'm getting them! The red ones are bizarrely adorable, and I think my firm belief that every woman should have a pair of red shoes is well known, but they don't come in my size so I'm taking that as a sign. Likewise with the slouchy brown boots - the universe is telling me not to buy them, but I'm a little more bummed about these ones because I am in the market for new, knee-high brown boots (the ones I have now cause serious ankle and knee pair when I wear them, and there's only so much I'm willing to sacrifice for fashion).



This hobo wallet - love, love, love; and how cute would it look coming out of this Dutchy bag? I covet. I want it immediately. I might have to buy it because I have the discount, and then I'll do a reality check when it arrives. Although, my current bag is falling apart. (Literally. It's this super cute grey, patent leather shoulder bag I got at Marshall's this summer, it's perfect for carrying my papers, books, etc. and I've gotten tons of compliments on it, but the patent leather stuff is peeling off and underneath it's just a dull grey not-so-nice pleather. That makes me sad.)



Lastly, sorry I've been so sporadic on posts lately - massive stack of papers to grade + grant application + travel + no news on the dating front = fewer posts. There'll be a turkey day redux in the near future.

there are those who get it, ...

... and those who don't. These people get it:


more music charts

Chalking up the pro's and con's

Who's the big sister?

Little K is becoming a big girl; she's using a spoon all by herself, and good thing, too.


Come April, mom and dad's hands are going to be pretty full. Just liker her mom, Kayley's going to be a big sister!

poetry for my shoes

Rain, rain, don't go away,

My new wellies arrived today!

Cute all over in black/white plaid,

Now wet feet don't make me mad.

suck on this, Martha

Since I moved into my apartment in late August, there are a number of small projects I've wanted to get to in the realm of home improvement. Painting the bedroom had the highest priority, and that was accomplished in within 24 hours of unloading the Uhaul. Later that same week I cleaned the pantry. Lately, the roomie and I had been discussing the need to defrost the freezer. It wasn't the most pressing matter, but for some reason I found myself in the kitchen tonight, pouring myself a 3rd glass of wine, and looked in the cabinet where the tools are to see if I could find a chisel of some sort. Instead, I found a gardening trowel, and decided to take a few chips at the ice.

But I kept thinking, if only I could melt the ice a little to get the trowel in between the edge of the freezer and the massive block of ice. Enter Conair:

Please note that the frost was several inches thick on the top, bottom and back of the freezer, There were several items that pre-dated the current roommates (with 3 and 4 years of tenure) which were frozen into the frost. With the help of the styling nozel, the "turbo" setting, the lovely Anne, and some animosity towards the ex I'm still haboring and needed to unleash, we went from that cold mess to this clean beauty:

I think I'm going to have to make a special trip to Trader Joe's to stock up on their frozen deliciousnesses since we now have so much room in the freezer!

Yes we did!

wednesday

One of the nice things about being a grad student is the flexibility of my schedule. Today I "worked from home" (a.k.a. played hooky with #3). When I make meals, I sometimes like to pretend I'm on a cooking show or own a bed a breakfast (dork central, I know). See, for example, breakfast:





Whole grain French toast with caramelized banana and apricot compote. It's all in the presentation. Such a nice way to start a lazy day.

Halloween in pictures

As promised, here are some photos from one of the best Halloweens I've ever had! (Sorry it took so long, I had to retrieve the camera from Peter).

Here's me playing make-up artist:

Those years doing make-up for the WHS drama club really paid off!

We took it to the street - literally.

Here are Mona and Patty (a.k.a. Mikey and Peter) stopping traffic on 6th Ave.

Then onto the train - safety demonstrations on the A,C,E line.

Remember, make sure your own mask is properly fitted before assisting others.

Their other friend, Taylor, was a cowboy, so we made a cute couple.

Got tickets to the gun show?

I'm already looking forward to next year! I think I'm going to be a meth-addict soccer mom. Maybe the boys can be my PTA chums.

Shappy

I'm shappy.

I was overjoyed. Last night as I watched the results come in, I could not believe my eyes. The West Coast polls closed, and they called it for Obama. I still couldn't believe it. I screamed, "change it to Fox!" And there it was - even Fox news had called it for Obama. Barack Obama is President elect of the United States of America. We cheered, we cried, we stomped our feet. We popped a bottle of champagne and passed it around. We ran into the street to hear the victory cries of others. We joined the movement onto the streets and into the bars to celebrate.

This morning I stepped outside, breathed in the fresh fall air, and smelled hope.

I tried to by a copy of the New York Times - I want to have the front page that announces our first African-American President - but they were all sold out. I felt jubilant going into the office.

And then I checked Facebook:

Jenny cried when Jessie Jackson did but is mad as hell about prop 8 in california.

No. I checked the LATimes. Yes. California passed Proposition 8, banning gay marriage. Florida and Arizona passed similar bans, and Arkansas one-uped them all by banning adoption and foster parenting by unmarried couples (guess whom that will disproportionately affect?).

And so I'm shappy. I'm sad + happy. I think the election of Barack Obama as the next President has enormous consequences for this country and the global community, and I am excited to feel proud to be an American for the first time in a long, long, loooooooooong time. But I am so disenheartened by these attacks on the civil liberties of American citizens. It's like voters - especially those that were pro-Obama and pro-Prop 8 - are saying, "we let the black guy in, we're not letting the gays get what they want, too." Why must we trade one type of bigotry for another? The number of proposed bans on ballots was down this year, but now that states know see these bans passing and being enacted initiatives to fight against the rights of gay couples will probably have renewed vigor.

I'm trying to focus on the positive, but I'm shappy. To my gay friends on the West coast, the Northeast would love to have you (at least gay marriage is still legal in MA and CT).

Vote, Baby, Vote!

"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election." - Bill Vaughan

Don't make this a nation of lazy hypocrites - vote.

* I didn't get a sticker! They weren't giving them out. Is the economy that bad?

Happy Halloween

Have you got your costume?

While I find it hard to top my costume from a few years back, I just try to be creative. This year I'm going to be a cowgirl stripper on her day off. How do you dress as that? you may ask. It's all in the details. I've got jeans that lace up in the front with suede ties. I've got a black lace and leopard print bra to show through a white tank top, and over that I'm wearing a plaid shirt tied up in the front. I've got boots, a hat, and a gun in a holster. I'm still looking for a temporary tattoo for my chest - preferably a rose or an aquatic mammal - but yesterday found some great giant, gold heart earrings. The pièce de résistance - glittery French manicured, chunky acrylic nails, the hallmark of the stripper.

I've got to teach this afternoon, and then I'll be heading out with some of the boys to pregame before the parade. I've never been before and am excited to be part of the action. I also get to play make-up artist to my lovies Peter and Mikey. They will be dressing as Sue and Mona, two 1982 flight attendants based out of Milwaukee. They're part of a larger flight crew that includes Captain Stewart and First Officer Maverick. Impromptu safety demonstrations will be given, and there will be a snack option of peanuts or biscotti.

Until then, I just need to try and be moderate with my high-fructose corn syrup intake.Nothing's worse than a candy corn hangover.

Dear Red States,

There's a major grading back log over here, so blogging has had to take a back seat, but I wanted to pass along this funny (shared by one of my students):

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation.

To sum up briefly:

• You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all the slave states
• We get stem cell research and the best beaches
• We get the Statue of Liberty
• You get Dollywood
• We get Intel and Microsoft
• You get WorldCom
• We get Harvard
• You get Ole' Miss
• We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs
• You get Alabama
• We get two-thirds of the tax revenue.
• You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 % lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League schools, plus Stanford, Berkeley and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, and virtually 100% of all televangelists.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you are people with higher morals then we blues.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

The Blue States

From the mouth of a second grader...

pointing to a photo of McCain "He doesn't care about anybody but himself!"
"This one" (pointing to Obama) "He cares about the entire earth!"*

*Thanks, Mrs. H., for sharing this one.

bacon free Halloween

My roommate is having a Halloween party at the apartment next Saturday. I invited #3. Last night we were discussing possible costume ideas for him.


He just sent me this:

Subject: this would be so hot!
From: new boy
Sent: Fri 10/24/08 3:54 PM
To: me

http://baconbaconbacon.tumblr.com/post/56179959/halloween-costume-found-why-not-dress-up-as

To which I replied this:

Subject: RE: this would be so hot!
From: me
Sent: Fri 10/24/08 4:17 PM
To: new boy


if that's going to make you happy, go for it, but let's just be clear
that i will not a) dress up as bacon or b) be seen with you if you do

You just gotta nip some things in the bud.

life in the fast lane

Leave it to me to fuck up dating.

Here's how the whole thing started. One of my boy-toys from the summer - Rhode Island - came to visit a few weeks ago. We hung out, went to dinner, yadda yadda yadda. I had more fun than I thought I would, but when we were watching TV and having beers he asked me where I went to school. And he didn't know I spoke French. We met in July. Now I didn't want a relationship, and this one had no potential (for starters he's a non-voting Libertarian), but it was a mutually respectful and beneficial arrangement, and we enjoyed each other's company. If we could have only seen each other after 10pm it would have been perfect, but because of the living-in-different-states aspect of things, that wasn't possible. We had to spend some time together, and how can you know me for 3 months and not know where I go to school? It's not just that he didn't remember, I'm not sure he had ever asked.



So after he left that Sunday I went online and created a profile. I wasn't sure I wanted to date, but I felt spurred into action, they way sometimes you might join the gym and buy some new exercise clothes - it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to work out. But then the dating began, and before I could get through the first week I had already fucked it up. I "met" someone.



The Friday night date with #3 was great. He was sweet and attentive and affectionate in front of his coworkers without being clingy or smothering me. We went to a party where some of my friends were, and he fit right in. Again, I didn't want the date to end. And it didn't. We had a slumber party (but kept it very PG-13, lest my sister think she needs to stop reading at this point). Saturday I had some stuff to do, but we decided to hang out later in the afternoon. We had dinner and watched a movie. Sunday he had an important football game to watch, but he came over that night. We ordered the most delicious Cuban food with my roommate & her friend (who kept pulling me aside to smile broadly at me and give me the thumbs up or a little conspiratorial arm squeeze) and made cupcakes.



There was an awkward moment Sunday afternoon where I had to call #2 - who had left messages Friday and Saturday night - and tell him that I was going to have to indefinitely postpone our date because I had "clicked" with someone, wanted to see where it went, and felt dishonest seeing more than one person at a time. He was clearly disappointed, as he had been very eager to tell me the "volcano" on his face had gone down, but he told me to keep him in mind. I also canceled my second date with #1 - over text message, no less, which may have been slightly tacky.



This week I have purposefully spent less time with #3. Tuesday night he made me dinner, and we watched the new episode of "Iconoclasts" (because that's the project he just finished), but that's it til next Tuesday. I'm headed home for the weekend, and that's a good forced break. I'm trying not to over-analyze things, but that's kind of like me saying I'm trying to cut back on shoe shopping. On the one hand, I really don't want to get into something right now and feel like I need some solo time. On the other hand, I'm picturing what our wedding photos would look like.

I really need to learn how to "take things slow." So much for dating. Would you settle for confessions of a serial monogamist?

O'bama

Dating update to come - promise - sorry for falling off the wagon, but in the meantime I need to make a plug for my friend Erin. She has made a temporary career change from academic to entrepreneur. Check out her wares:

With advertising like that, who wouldn't want one?

dating and grading

Week 1 of dating is drawing to a close, and it's already been very busy. #1 invited me to a gallery opening tonight - sounds so New York, even for living here - but I have to teach til 9 and then I have a standing date w/ Peter on Thursdays for dinner and Grey's Anatomy. At the end of his e-mail he wrote:

I'm excited about the possibility of earning another kiss

Well buying me dinner would be a good start! (note to self: free kisses reserved for Kayley and the rest of my munchkins - boys must pay a booze tax, 2 drink minimum). We have tentative plans for Sunday.

I was concerned that if I started online dating I'd use it as a way to procrastinate on my work, and I was right (of course). Today I spent way too much time texting #3. He called me last night, and we talked for 30 min. I believe I'm unofficially smitten.

At least the dating is a bright light filtering in through the mound of papers I'm buried underneath. Seriously, I just got 50 midterms at 10pg a pop. Last night I was grading for my night class and wanted to jab the pen in my eye just to break the monotony. Fortunately I was wearing my glasses, and they created a protective barrier. Tomorrow I've got a 4pm date with another TA to drink and grade. Everyone asks, "You grade drunk?!" Sip, don't chug. I don't always, but it does make the process more enjoyable. Afterwards I have my second date with #3 - we'll both have been drinking beforehand, and then the party we're going to has an open bar. Stories, I'm sure, will be plentiful, if not necessarily bloggable.

daily date update

Last night's date was great! I didn't want it to end, and while he was in the bathroom I texted as much to my friend Jane, to which she replied, "Don't be a floozy." Me? Never!

Guy #3 is definitely in the lead. We met outside the cafe, sat and actually decided to have dinner. We ordered the same things - falafel with dill yogurt sauce, Stella, and we split fries. He's nerdy, but in a cute way, and smart and funny. He dropped his ex-girlfriend in the conversation before the second round of drinks which was a -10pts, but in his defense it was in reference to his living situation in Savannah, where apparently they had ghosts who were upset about their departure. We chatted with the waitress about Colin Quinn who came in - he frequently performs at the comedy club downstairs - and when the bill came (drum roll please) he picked up the tab! But not without a light-hearted negotiation.

We then moved on to another bar where I bought 2 rounds of drinks ($3 bottle specials at 99 Below everyone - check it out!) and talked music and movies. We ended up closing that place, and then had a last round (#7 to be precise - I don't know how I wasn't on the floor, I was tipsy at 4 Sunday), fought over Oprah, thumb wrestled (as you do on a first date) and discussed his love of bacon and my baking skills. Then they unplugged the neon beer signs and shut the lights off, so we took that as a sign to go.

Let's see, what else - he's 6' tall, dark hair, dark eyes, he's a Libra, wears glasses, isn't a douche bag (it actually says that in his profile!), and can fold fitted sheets. We were talking cleaning and OCD tendencies and, I'm not gonna lie, it was hot. The night ended with a steamy make-out session on 6th Ave before we got on the F train going in opposite directions. (He lives in Queens - minus 15 pts - but he has a car - plus 25 pts). I sent him a text letting him know I was home safe, he wrote back wishing me a good night, and today we've been sending chatty/flirty e-mails. I get that fun-but-slightly-scary anticipatory feeling every time I check my e-mail, and I save his messages for last and read the junk stuff first. His friend/co-worker is screening her new movie tonight, and he invited me to the after-party on Friday.

I like #3, but I also have a tendency to go from being in love with a guy to wishing him grievous bodily harm in about 10 days. I'm just trying to go with the flow.

Which is why, when I get home, I'm going to return #1's call from yesterday. I wonder how #2's responding to the antibiotics.

(up)date

Since noon I've managed to squeeze in drinks tonight with Guy #3, who does media/film production and photography and seems very geek-chic. We've had a good e-mail volley going on, mostly centering a shared appreciation of ice cream which is always a bonus, and he suggested one of my favorite restaurants in the Village for drinks so that's another 10 pts. They have chalkboard tables in the booths so if the date is going badly I can just play tic-tac-toe with myself.

Guy #1 called and left a message, so it looks like a second date will be arranged, and Guy #2 just called to cancel for tomorrow night because he had a zit or something on his face that got infected (he once let something go on his foot and had to spend 5 days in the hospital because it got into his blood stream). Apparently he told his doctor he had a date for Wednesday, and she recommended he cancel. To his credit, he wants to put his best foot forward, and I guess it's hard to do that when you've got a boil on your face, so that date is postponed awaiting medical clearance.

This dating thing is hysterical. I can foresee no shortage of blogging material in the near future.

let the games begin

Sunday night I had my first internet date with Guy #1. It was touch and go with #1, because we had made tentative plans for Sunday night, and Sunday morning the website informed me he had been kicked off for some communication infraction. But we connected and met for a drink at 9:30.

This was a date that would have not gone well without the presence of alcohol. For starters, he didn’t pay. I bought myself a drink because I got to the bar while he was in the bathroom, but when it came time for the next round he didn’t even offer to pay. Nor did he on round three or four. Now I have mixed feelings over the guy paying. I want him to pay, but I feel like somehow that is incongruous with my feminist politics. The more I think about it, however, I realize that’s just not the case. It’s very congruous in fact. Women are still making 78 cents to men’s dollar – the least they can do is pay for dates!

He was shorter than I thought. And scruffier. And a little more hipster, but that was all manageable. He was also a little socially awkward, but in a shy, endearing way, not a creepy way, and he was clearly aware of it. There were some awkward pauses, and, if I’m honest, I felt I brought more to the table than he did. Somewhere around drink 3 we were talking about his family, and I was asking him about his step mother and father and their children, and then there was a pause. I was tempted to lean over, put my hand on his knee, and say, “This is where you ask me about my family, sweetie.”

Apparently I got a little tipsy, because when I woke up the next morning I had to ask myself if I had dreamt the good night kiss, but no, it really happened on the side walk outside the bar. And then I remembered something else from his profile – he’s a “light/social smoker.” He didn’t smoke in front of me, but you can’t hide that in a kiss.

So we’ll see. The date was neither amazing nor terrible. I’m thinking he needs someone a little more introverted and I need someone a little more outgoing, but if he calls I won’t say no to a second date. He just better pay.

Wednesday I’ve got Guy #2 on standby. #2 is the executive chef at a hotel restaurant in midtown. (read = BONUS) We talked for an hour on the phone Sunday before my date with Guy #1. He’s funny and easy to talk to. He went to college on a swimming scholarship and does yoga, which suggests he’d look great naked. He’s also 38 and doesn’t drink at all because “things got a little crazy in his 20s,” but he’s okay with other people drinking. This one could go either way.

ain't no mountain high

This weekend the weather was beautiful, and I took advantage by going for a hike with some friends. I don't know why I've never done this before; just an hour out of the city the Metro-North line drops you off at Breakneck Ridge. We had a little trouble finding the trail head, and we hadn't really understood just how vertical the first hour so would be, but the views were worth it.
That wasn't the only site of the day. Who says fashion and nature can't mix - snakeskin bag anyone?



We finished off the day with some well deserved cocktails in Cold Springs, NY, and soaked up the sunshine, water views, and foliage.

Our buns are still burning from the climb, but I accomplished more before 1pm on Saturday than I do in most week's.

Now if writing my dissertation was only this simple...

so right

So I have started - tentatively - venturing into the world of online dating. Of course some of the first e-mails I got are from absolute creeps. That doesn't bother me too much, because I run into creeps everywhere - at the bars, getting on the subway, running (I know my shirt says Obama - stop staring at my chest and reading it to me, weird old man!). It's just a statistical reality - per every 100,000 people there are going to be X number of creeps.

Anywho, I showed a friend one creep's e-mail. There was a very inappropriate comment, but it did make reference to something in my profile. There is one slightly suggestive remark, and I thought I should remove it, lest it be seen as an open invitation to other creeps.

But my friend made a good point. She said,

Leave it. The rest of your profile is totally normal and not at all suggestive. It's not like under favorite clothing you wrote "nothing." He was going to be a creep no matter what you wrote. You don't stop wearing skirts because somebody whistles at you.

So right. Thanks, Jane.

the "real world"?

Please indulge my self-righteous ranting for moment. I just got an e-mail from an old friend, someone I was really close with in junior high and still close with in high school but have really lost touch with since college. We used to be best friends and not just in the slumber parties and passing notes way; we really had a close bond and did a lot of our growing up together. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up, and apparently that motivated her to get in touch, because today I got an e-mail from here. I literally have not seen or talked to her in at least 2 years, but I give her credit for extending the olive branch. She misses me and wanted to get in touch before the reunion so it wasn't awkward, and that's thoughtful.

However.

It's the end of the e-mail that gets me:

I hope you're doing well. I think you're still at NYU. If you are, I'm totally jealous- the real world sucks.

I'm not sure what she means by the "real world." Don't I live in the real world? It's not like I've spent the last 6 years on some fantasy island. Why don't people think graduate school is real? There was a similar incident right before I left for Cambridge. I was having dinner with several friends, and one girl's beeper kept going off for work. At one point she tossed it on the table and said, "Ugh, don't ever get a real job." What do people think I'm doing in grad school, playing dress-up?

Now, I'll be the first to tell you that there are a lot of cushy aspects of graduate school. I love the flexible schedule. I really enjoy the fact that, at least 3 weekdays a week, I can wake up and think, "I don't actually have to get out of bed." I like that I can do my laundry and grocery shopping at odd hours, that I can work from home if I need to wait for the cable guy or the super, that I can cancel my class because my friend's husband scored us tickets to the So You Think You Can Dance Tour (sooo excited!!). I love that I get to work with my friends! I enjoy the free tub of peanut butter filled pretzels we have at the front desk and that when I feel like I can't keep my eyes open I can go in the lounge of our department and take a nap. Who else gets to nap at work?

Now let me tell you what I don't like about being a graduate student. I don't like the fact that it makes me feel like less than a full adult - which is apparently how other people see it as well. I don't like that my boss is also my co-worker is also my advisor, and she can call me at 10pm on a Saturday to talk about her boyfriend but then expect me to defend my academic career goals in the same conversation. I don't like that I'm constantly feeling like I can and should be doing more, but the lack of concrete deadlines means I've got to figure it out on my own with very little supervision and even less feedback to let me know if I'm headed in the right direction. I don't like that as a teaching assistant I'm part-time, highly exploitable labor. I don't like that I have a base salary of $22,000 a year - before taxes - and that I have to babysit, adjunct, and - still, as I'm approaching 30! - take out student loans to make ends meet. I don't like that I haven't been to see a dentist in almost 7 years because I don't have dental insurance and can't afford it. I don't like that next year, when I go on the job market, I'll compete with about 450 other PhDs and roughly 200 equally qualified job applicants for each position, many of whom will be friends, and that it's going to be just as hard to get a position at a small teaching college as at a larger university. And I really don't like that I'll have to spend the first 3 or 4 years of my career worrying about getting tenure, that is if I'm lucky enough to get a tenure track position.

Now maybe I'm just being defensive, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it. But somehow that's almost worse. Why do people feel like they can make comments like that? How do you not recognize the implied condescension?

debate parties

Will election season in full swing, it's basically all we talk about in the department everyday. Friday night, my roommate and I co-hosted a debate debut part. We were playing a game where we'd drink every time McCain said "spending," but we had to stop because we were starting to feel sick. (Signs you're getting too old to play drinking games for 400, please, Alex.)

Tomorrow night I'm going to another get-together at a friend's place for the VP debate. We're going to have pizza and wine and, according to the latest e-mail, play Palin Bingo. I'm not sure exactly how it'll work, but I can't wait! Let's hope she'll able to give more answers than she gave Katie Couric.

like sister, like sister

You might recall a past admission to a certain guilty pleasure (the one with Bret Michaels) that I subsequently found out I shared with my sister. Well the universe has brought it back to me/us.

E-mail exchange with Steph:

Subject: yay!
On Mon, Sep 29, 2008 at 10:00 PM, Amy wrote:
it's not rock of love, but i'll settle for sloppy seconds:
http://www.vh1.com/video/browse/index.jhtml?id=1573

Re: yay!
From: Stephanie
Sent: Tue 9/30/08 5:22 AM
To: Amy
OMG
i saw the preview the other night, I cannot wait!!!!

Culture Club: Septmeber Session

I lived in NYC for over a year before I went to my first Broadway show and didn't see a dance performance until just before I moved in Spring 2007. I've only been to one museum, once, when someone wasn't visiting from out of town. The risk of living in a major urban hub or art & culture is that you take it for granted and forget to take it in. In an effort to remedy that, I thought I'd start a culture club. Not in the "Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon, You come and go,You come and goooooooOOOOOOOOO" way, but in the group-of-people-who-attend-cultural-events sort of what. The idea sort of flopped - too much commitment involved - so instead I'm just making an effort to pick something cultural to attend at least once a month and then invite my peeps as I see fit.

Tuesday I filled the September slot by attending Fall for Dance with Jane and her friend Emily. The concept behind the series is really cool; it's like a restaurant pre-fixe of dance. All seats are just $10, and each performance is slightly different, offering a smattering of different companies and, consequently, styles of dance. Our seats were terrible - literally in the last row, we couldn't have gone back further without entering the heating ducts - but the dances and dancers were amazing. My favorite was a piece that the program told me was about "a woman's loneliness in a bad relationship;" I could relate to that. It was just one dancer and a table on stage. (I was secretly hoping Neil and Sabra would come out and do their table dance, but that didn't happen.) I'm no dance critic, but what I gathered from the piece was that one coping strategy the woman employed to deal with her isolation was to masturbate with the table. I'm not sure if that's what the choreographer had intended, but it certainly made an impression and is making me look at ordinary furniture in a whole new way.

See how culture can expand the mind!

May Those Who Help the Most Win

I'm so glad my friends are talented, creative, interesting, etc. Check out what my friend Leanne is up to at Motion Theory out in LA:

http://www.project10tothe100.com/index.html

Welcome, little girl

This is a little belated, but I'd like to publicly welcome little miss Nica Toni Rondinelli to the world. Nica wasn't scheduled to arrive until the 18th, but in response to her family's situation decided to come early on the 9th. Smart girl!

Yesterday I got to talk briefly with her big brother Luca:

Notice the NYC taxi tee - somehow cheesy tourist tat becomes adorable on small bodies. I had a better gift in mind, but Nica's early arrival threw off my shopping plan.

And here's the proud papa showing off his little girl and his swaddling skills:

I can't wait to see the new family!

space cadet

We all have our moments, but I have been such an airhead lately, and I'm talking well beyond the usual 'I can't find my glasses because they're on my face' or forgetting deodorant or mascara in the morning.

Last night, I got on the subway going in the wrong direction. It took me about 4 stops before I realized something wasn't quite right.

Today I almost missed my recitation. I knew I had to teach at 2, but I was just sitting at my computer typing away when all of a sudden I realized it was 1:54! Fortunately, the clocks on the department's system are about 10 minutes fast. I have never done that before. Whoops.

Good thing I don't have any hard and fast plans for the weekend. I'm going for drinks tonight, but I'll make sure a friend sees me safely onto the correct train.

I asked the universe for cute, cheap shoes

Remember my obsession with a certain pair of Stuart Weitzman's last year?

Well, I believe the universe has just sent me a poor woman's version:

Say "hello" to Unlisted by Kenneth Cole's Club Style. Hello, dahling. When I see something I like I often ask myself how much I love it. For example, I might try on a shirt and think, "I like it, but I don't like it $60 worth." (I frequently think this when I'm shopping at Express.) I luurved those Stuart Weitzman's, but not $200+ worth. I'd still like to see them in a store before buying them, but I'm pretty sure I like these babies $45 worth.

electronic failure

All my electronic gadgets are shitting the bed on me at the same time. Well, only 2 - my phone and my iPod - but those are really all I've got electronic gadget wise (except my laptop, pleeease don't crap out on me.)

Last week my iPod stopped working. One minute I was rockin' out, and the next thing I knew there was a little apple on the screen. The color slowly drained from the apple and then nothing. I went to the website and tried to do the stuff they said. Nada.

Yesterday my phone started fritzing. Every time I tried to write a text message it froze and then restarted itself. Not cool.

Today I decided I needed to deal with these things. There's a Verizon store and an Apple store near my department, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. The Verizon store was easy enough - they had to update some software and just needed me to leave it there for an hour. The only downside to that was I still don't have a watch and my cell is currently my only time-telling device, but I knew it wouldn't be hard to kill 60 minutes in SoHo.

This was my first trip to the Apple store. I've decided it is designed to make you feel a) uncool and b) stupid. Not to mention you'd think they had the secret to eternal life on the shelves with the sheer number of people in the store and various groups lining up for no discernible reason. It's an absolute shit show in there. I talked briefly to the first guy I saw who looked appropriately hip enough to work there, and he told me I'd need to go to the genius bar, but to do so I have to make an appointment through the concierge. No joke.

Let's start with the fact that it's called a genius bar. Nothing to put you in your place like an interaction where you have to essentially tell someone, "I am stupid and inferior and don't know how this works. You may or may not be able to fix this for me. I will stand here meekly and kindly request that you bestow upon me and my humble device (I've got a 2nd generation Nano, it's not even like I've got an iPhone) some of your infinite wisdom and skill, if it so pleases you." Of course all the appointments for the day were taken, and, low and behold, Thursday and Friday were booked, too. I can't make it on Saturday, so I'm just going to wait until Monday and go back in and see if they can fit me in sometime during the next lunar month. Of course I'm convinced Apple has programmed their devised to die (mine is barely 1.5 yrs old) so you're forced to buy a new model. The new nanos are out now.

Mercifully, my phone is fixed and Peter had an extra iPod to lend me so I don't have to resort to kicking it old school with a boombox on my shoulder. Fingers crossed for the fate of my iPod.

little K

One of the great things about being in Boston this summer was getting to see more of my niece. She is growing up SO fast, and it makes me sad when I'm not there. My aunts mean a lot to me, and I want to have an important part in Kayley's life. I tried to start talking to her this summer about how accessories are like toys for big girls, but I think she still might be a little too young for that.

I became concerned that, despite my best intentions, I may be having a negative impact on K when I found out she is best friends with the little British boy in her day care. She likes to give him hugs and kisses. That needs to stop immediately, especially because K gives kisses the naughty way (with her mouth open). Then Sunday night my sister sends me a video of K "playing" with her friend James (see the 2nd video under 9/6). And by playing, I mean sexually assaulting. I don't know where K learned how to hump, but it wasn't from me!

all dogs go to heaven

Toni and Jim, my amazing San Diego family that I lived with before I left, had to report the sad news of the passing of two of their dogs. This is a family so full of love, and my heart is heavy for their loss, so I'm sending love back their way and wanted to share their beautiful puppy eulogy. Boris and Duke, you will be missed.

Friends,
We're saddened to report the passing of Duke and Boris Rondinelli this afternoon. We will always remember these two as best friends who traveled literally thousands of miles and survived many adventures together. They were preceded in passing by their Mother, Shannon Crofts, in 1998, brother Oscar in 2000, and Father Dennis Crofts in 2001.

Duke and Boris were joined by fate. Duke was born in Sugar City Idaho. Boris, born in Ramona, CA, joined his mother as a gift from Toni.

After a brief period of separation immediately following the passing of their Mother in 1998, Duke and Boris took up residence with their stepmother Toni and brother Oscar in Oakland, CA. In the care of their stepmother, they lived a full and exciting lifestyle, traveling extensively across the US, Canada and Mexico. The dogs went on to set several records including: Greatest Culinary Diversity in a canine (2003), the 30 yard Feline Pursuit (2004) and Most Relocations across North America in a 15-month period (2006, 2007).

Over the last few months, we had noticed both dogs declining in health, but the decline was particularly acute with Boris. He had lost about 30 percent of his body mass over the last 4 months, and was having trouble standing. Over the last few months he had suffered two severe eye infections and what we believe was a stroke. Duke was blind, deaf, very frail and in declining health as well. Their mental and physical health further declined after our most recent move to Carlsbad, CA. We came to the difficult decision that it would be unfair for these two partners in crime(see subsequent note about Astro, their feline sibling) to survive without the benefit of each other's company.

They are survived by their Stepparents, Jim and Toni Rondinelli, sisters Gigi and Lola, and step-sibling Luca. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Obama For President campaign.

shoe news

For a self-described "shoe addict", I actually don't write about shoes all that much here. Well today I thought I'd change that.



I picked up several lovely little pairs this summer. These golden stunners I picked up on my first day back from my road trip - literally I stopped at Marshall's before I got to my parents' house. I wore them to the wedding I attended on my birthday. They're Nine West - love them.

Then there are my dear little Naomi's. I stalked these shoed both online and in stores last year, but they were $90 and since I was living in southern CA and wearing flip-flops everyday I just didn't feel I could justify the purchase, no matter how adorable they were. Then at the end of my road trip I found them on clearance for $30. I hade to get them a 1/2 size too big, but I'll just put cushy little inserts in them and heel grippers and they'll be fine.

Now when I moved into my new apartment and had a good look at just how many clothes and shoes I have, I told myself I was going to make a real effort to not buy any more. That said, the one real gap I can identify in my wardrobe at the moment is a pair of knee-high brown boots. I have a pair by Etienne Aigner, but they're 4 yrs old and, more importantly, for some reason they make my right ankle feel like a bone is going to break when I wear them.

So yesterday I was doing a little online browsing, and I found these:

I Like:

Bewilderby Indigo by Clarks

They look cute, and I don't think they'd break my ankle. They also won't break the bank.

These will, however, but I am positively smitten:

I Like:

Jarvis by Jessica Bennett

Say hello to the Jarvis in red by Jessica Bennett. How beautiful are these? I never thought I'd want a pair of red boots, but I keep picturing them with this knee-length tan corduroy skirt I have and the navy blue short-sleeved wrap sweater I bought recently (before I got to NYC and decided I wasn't buying more clothes). I'm going to think about them for a few weeks (or at least until I get my first pay check) before making any decisions, but the flame of shoe lust is burning bright.

fashion news: smarty pants

All it got was a teeny blurb in the latest edition of Shape, but everyone should know about this site immediately:

SearchbyInseam

You can do just that - search by inseam - but also by rise and price, and they have jeans, corduroys, maternity clothes, etc. Brilliant.

David Duchovny apparently loves too much

I'm in my office, not doing work - obviously, when I read in the NYT Art's section that actor David Duchovny or X-Files fame (and let's not forget his under-appreciated cameo in Zoolander) has entered rehab for sex addiction.

And my friend starts singing this song, which I never knew existed, and I had to share it immediately.

I was a huge X-Files geek! How could I have missed this?

And it was good

There was a girl, and the girl moved into an apartment. The apartment did have a kitchen, and the kitchen, it was messy. Dirt did cover the floor and the droppings of mice did scatter on the shelves of the pantry and in the cabinets. But the apartment also had a vacuum, and the girl did use the vacuum to remove droppings and other debris. And across the street from the apartment there was a Rite-Aid, and into the store did the girl travel. And in that store she did purchase bleach and a scrub brush and other implements with which one can cleanse. And cleanse she did. The girl did dress like mid-19th c domestic servant and did tie her hair in a bandanna and did don marigolds. The girl did scrub and bleach til the dirt was gone and the droppings were no more. The kitchen did gleam and smell like a pool, and the kitchen gods were pleased.

And this apartment did also have a bathroom, but the girl hadn't gotten there yet...

my favorite color is BLUE

Are you watching the Democratic National Convention? Because it's been giving me chills and making me cry. I haven't been this excited about politics since, well... I've never been this excited about politics! It must have been so cool to be at the convention. I love Michelle. And Ted (even though he killed that girl). And Hillary. And Beau. And Joe. And Joe's mom! And, like the rest of the Democrats, I love Bill Clinton, even if he looked like he was getting a blow job when the cameras cut to him during Hil's speech. He just had a shit-eating grin on his face like, "Keep you head down, darlin', the camera's on me."

Tonight, Obama's speech.

It's always good when...

It's always good when:

• your dad helps you move into your new apartment, and when you show him the living room there's a pipe and a baggie of weed sitting in plain sight on the coffee table.
• when you first get into the new place you're greeted by several half empty beverage containers on the table, including one with a molding lemon.
• you go to clean out a shelf for your things in the pantry and notice fresh mice droppings all around.
• your bathroom floor doesn't look as though it's been cleaned since the building was built, probably sometime in the early half of the last century.
• the kitchen light "more often than not" doesn't turn on, and this seems to be of no real concern to the other roommates.
• the neighbor feels the need to share his love of Latin music, loudly, everyday, from roughly 7am - 11pm.
• you come home in the afternoon to find the door unlocked and no one home.
• most of the problems with the apartment can be solved with a 50/50 solution of bleach and water and some quality time spent with a scrub brush.
• your new roommates seem very cool, and that coolness outweighs their messiness. So far.

back in the burroughs

Well, it's official, I'm a Brooklynite. Sunday my dad and I drove 4 hrs, spent another 2 unloading the truck (I just kept thinking, "Thank god I'm not on the 5th floor!") took a break for beers and burgers at the local beer garden, then primed for 3 hrs and painted for another 2.

Monday morning I was able to move in all my furniture, set up my bed, and really start unpacking. Dad and I got bagels around the corner - they really are just so much better in NY - and then he left me with mounds of shoes, clothes and books adding a tearful "I hope you're happy here," leaving unspoken: "because I'm never moving you again!"

I got almost everything unpacked, and then Jane came over to see the place. We had dinner at a nice little outdoor cafe on the corner, and the very precocious 4-year-old sitting next to us complimented me on my necklace. She was having girls' night with her mom, and after dinner was headed home for a bath and then to watch Obama and eat ice cream. Sounds like the perfect night to me!

This morning I was up early, again (although when you go to bed at 10pm you really don't need to sleep past 7), and unpacked most of my kitchen items. The kitchen and the bathroom are a little messier than I'd like, but it's nothing a 50/50 water and bleach solution won't take care of!

I stopped by a friend's place to get the instructions on dog/cat sitting - when I accepted the gig she failed to mention she lives in a 5th floor walk-up! - and then got a $2.50 falafel at Mamoun's before heading into the office and - gasp! - doing some work.

Now I'm heading home for a nap, and then tonight it's out for drinks for a friend's birthday. Updates with pictures coming soon. Thanks for everyone's positive thoughts and well wishes during the move.

It's good to be home!

all packed up and ready to go

After some difficulties actually getting a moving truck, my stuff is packed and the truck is facing out of the driveway ready to head to Brooklyn. I'll hopefully have pictures of the new set up soon, after I paint and unpack. Ready or not, here I come!

updates

Bedding - Thanks for everyone's input! I do agree having fantastic bedding is worth the expense. I compromised on the quality of the comforter because I loved the colors and bought this one by Dwell studio for Target:

I then got a memory foam mattress topper and nice sheets which have been washed and softened and are ready to go on the bed. Anita, the woman I work for, is a designer, so she's been helping me with color palette for my new room. I can't wait to get it all set up - pictures will be posted, of course.

Watches - I ended up buying the silver DKNY, but the face was strangely large, and it was too overwhelming on my wrist (one of the 2 places on my body that aren't chubby, the other being my clavicle). I tried on the Michael Kors one in Macy's and liked it but didn't love it. I'm going to hold off for a bit.

Going batty - my parents are back, so I don't have to stay in the house that hates me by myself any longer. The timing couldn't be better because Tuesday there was an alligator in the bathtub and a band of marauding gypsies set up camp in the back yard.

this house is cursed

My parents are away for the week, and it works out well because I have the house to myself to organize for a yard sale Saturday and pack for Sunday's move. The down side is that I'm here by myself, and after the whole break-in I get a little jittery sometimes.

So Sunday my parents' cat threw up in front of my room (I think she was pissed I didn't stay here Saturday night), and yesterday she pooped in the dining room (there she was just being spiteful because she was all of 10' from her litter box). I wasn't thrilled about either incident, but last night the cat was the least of my problems. I walked up to my room, hoping to get a nice early night's sleep, and there, above the linen closet that's at right angles to my bedroom door, is a big brown square. And it has a face.

There was a friggin' BAT in my house. I screamed on the inside - not wanting to disturb it - went into my room, and began panicking. Then I began doubting myself - was it really a bat? Was I over-reacting? I took a Sephora compact mirror, opened the door a hair, and stuck it out. Nope - face on brown furry thing. Bat verrified. I started calling friends, tried a neighbor, my sister & her husband - nadda. Who do I know in my town anymore? Then I remember my friend and her husband live nearby and have just returned from their honeymoon. They suggested I call the police and said they'd come over to let them in. So I called the police (the non-emergency number), and the officer didn't sound too surprised by my call or hesitate to send someone to help. Good thing this is a sleepy town - at least I gave them something to do on a Tuesday night.

Luckily my room overlooks the driveway, cause there wasn't a chance in hell I was leaving my room until the bat was out of the house. Like a lady in her tower, I opened the window and called down to my rescuers in blue. They came in, got a piece of Tupperware from the kitchen, caught it, and let it go in the driveway. When one of the officers joked like he was going to throw it at me, I screamed, jumped up and down, and whimpered incoherently that it wasn't funny. They were disappointed it was a small bat, so I hope my reaction added to their entertainment for the evening.

And so I'm beginning to think this house is cursed. At the very least, I think the universe is telling me not to live with my parents anymore.

The good news is that there was a spider in the shower this morning, and I was able to handle that one all on my own.

wasted pastry

I pulled into a parking lot this morning and saw two long brown things on the ground in the space next to me. I thought it was dog poop and thought, "How gross!" Then I realized it was the two halves of a chocolate donut and thought, "How sad!" I was sad for that donut all day, and thinking about it now makes my heart feel a little heavy.

modern day club kids

Last Thursday was Lisa's (my roommate) birthday - happy belated birthday, Lisa! After dinner with her parents we surprised her with strawberry ice cream cake and balloons at her pad and then headed out to Rock Revolution for some dancing.

Oh. my. god. Now, I was never really a club kid, but back in the day I spent my fair share of nights on Lansdowne Street wearing ridiculous clothes and copious amounts of glitter, listening to house music, and dancing next to kids waving glow sticks. I was totally unprepared, however, to encounter this cast of characters on a Thursday night. My mind was blogging before we even got inside.

First of all, there was an over-abundance of Mohawks. What kind of day job can you hold down with that hair? Does asking that question show my age?

Then there were the girls. I couldn't figure out of Tila Tequila was looking for another shot at love or if the Pussycat Dolls were presenting their search for yet another Pussycat Doll. This girl looked like an avatar (and I use that description primarily because it was a key aspect of the plot in CSI: New York last Wednesday night):

I felt positively prudish that my vagina wasn't showing. The guys weren't much better. It was hard to tell where the graphic tee's ended and the bicep wrapping tribal tattoos began.

Finally, we had this poor girl who just looked like she'd been caught in a tuna net:

I can't even comment on her tattoo. Fortunately yesterday I saw that Filene's Basement sells Ed Hardy tee-shirts, which many, many people were sporting, so I'm going to pick up some for the next time I hit the clubs. Who's got my glow sticks?

bedding

A new apartment, a new room, a new opportunity to shop for bedding (I got rid of all my old bedding when I left New York the last time). I love shopping for bedding almost as much as I love shopping for shoes. Although the pressure is more intense - imagine shopping for a pair of shoes you would have to wear everyday! Then again, my bedding won't leave the house. I'm going to paint over the hot mess with a neutral cream color, and I'm definitely leaning towards blues/browns for the color scheme. I like the white comforter, but considering I spent a fair amount of time reading on my bed with pens, highlighters, and cups of tea it just might be too impractical.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions?

Blog request: Ugly baby clothes

The blog thought well has been running a little dry lately, so Sunday at my sister's house I asked is she and my brother-in-law had anything they were holding their breath to hear me comment on. My sister said, "How about ugly baby clothes?" and produced this:






Apparently it was a gift from grandma Steph forgot to burn, which begs the question:


Why does my mother want her grand-daughter to look like she's a member of that polygamist group from Texas?

New Apartment!

It's official, I will not be homeless when I move back to New York. As of the last week in August I will be at:

364 Union St, Apt #3

Brooklyn, NY 11231

There are 2 other roommates, one of whom is the friend of a friend, which is how I found the place. It's a 3rd floor walk up in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, right near the F train (which conveniently drops me off in from of my department), and the neighborhood is super cute with restaurants, cafes, dogs, boutiques, etc. I'll miss Manhattan (it's not that I'm a Manhattan snob, it's that I'm lazy) but am excited for the new adventure! I think Brooklyn and I are going to get along famously. I was positively giddy being back in NYC.


Now the matter of moving - I've got to figure that one out. I need to buy a bed and sell my car, not necessarily in that order. I also need to purchase a few gallons of paint. I don't seem to have much luck with finding well decorated places. There was the cloud-scape ceiling in Solana Beach, the wallpapered bathroom in Cardiff (seriously, even the ceiling was wallpapered!), and now there's this:

Seriously? It's like the last blip of life on a heart monitor. Who thought that looked good and took the time to do it? Terrible. It even goes across the doors, windows, pipe. That's going to need at least two coats of primer. Luckily, Peter owes me a from when we redid his place.

faghagalicious

I whisked into New York City for 24 hrs this weekend to secure an apartment for my imminent return (success! more on that shortly) and got to spend time with my gay boyfriend (he prefers the term "sexless lover"). We went and got our nails done, had brunch in the village, I shopped for bedding online while he went to the gym, and then his friends came over to start the night with some beverages.

While I've been away Peter (on my left) has made some terrific new guy friends. Last night I got to meet the "sorority sisters," as they like to call themselves.

I've decided that hanging out with the gays might be the thing to do when I get back to NY. I'm surrounded by man candy all night without the possibility of rejection. What's he got that I don't? Simple, a penis. It's like shopping in Bergdorf Goodman. The goods are so not an option that I don't feel like I'm missing out and am happy to just look, not touch.